Saturday, February 9, 2008

Bad Memories

The other night whilst laying in bed, I couldn't get to sleep and got to thinking about my past, and how could I get this freakin fat??? When I was pregnant with my son back in "1999-2000", I weighed 99kgs. Then I turn around a few years later and have put on 40 kgs.. I mean, I know it didn't happen overnight, but it just creaps on...
One of my earliest memories of my weight problems was back in pre-school. We were all having a slip and slide day and water play, and everyone was getting in or out of their togs, but I headed for the bathrooms and went right into the corner cubical to get dressed, because the toilet cubicles didn't have doors, it seemed the corner one was the most discreet. I was shy about my body back then... at 5 years old.
But by far, my worst school memory of a weight problem was when in grade 6 (11 years old) Everyone in the class had to weight themself and at the end, the teacher read out everyones weight ranging from the lightest to the heaviest. I remeber the whole class laughing when he said "Jennene is the heaviest at 61kgs"... I remember excusing myself from the class a little while after, saying that I had to go to the toilet, but just went to sit outside, I never wanted to go back in there again...
Oh, how I would love to say I weigh 61kgs now...
But even now when I look back at my old school photos, I realise that I wasn't a whole lot bigger than my other classmates, well not compared to the overweight children that I see of today..But I truely felt like I was huge compared to them..
Another time I had a sleep over at a friends house, I would have been in about grade 5 at the time, and this friend of mine had 2 older teenage brothers, I remember when my friend went in for her shower, her brothers arrived home, and came to stand at her bedroom door, and they just kept laughing at me. I wished the bed that I was sitting on would just swallow me up.

But now I look back at that and think, "shit happens"... I may be fat, but they will always be ugly, I can change my weight..

Ok, enough of the negative stuff, I'll begin a new subject now.


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