Sunday, April 5, 2009


I have just finished my stint of week end work, the whole bloody week end.. It really wasnt good for my band diet... Because of the lack of time between customers, and all the SHIT junk food surrounding me, I was just snacking on crap all day yesterday.. by the time I got home lastnight, I felt so guilty, and because I was unable to just sit and eat a propper meal, I wasn't getting full, so the food just kept coming.. And it all started with a cup of tea I made, using bloody sour milk. I took a sip and thought it tasted yuk, so I poured it out and got a flavoured milk, then the smell of that damn pie oven. My mouth was watering, and I was snacking on every other thing to try to stop myself from giving in to the craving. Perhaps I should have given in to it, then i would have filled me up and let me be at peace with food for the day.. But nooo.. stupid me, eats EVERYTHING, then when I couldnt take it no more, i tuck in to the last thing in the bloody oven ... a vegetable pastie.. I ate about half of it , then I was full.. finally.. but the guilt continues..

So this morning, I opened up a box of Corn Flakes and found a banana, and had that for breakfast, then by the time the pie oven was at it's best temperature, the aroma of it was slapping me in the face again, and I really wasnt hungry, it was just the smell that was making me think I was.. So I get out the trusty corn flakes and have another bowl, this time I felt so full and sick from so many frikken corn flakes, I was over the whole pie oven issue.. luckily the pies and sausage rolls and pasties sold out early, before my fullness wore off.
Working in a convenience store is not good for your diet. I think if I worked in a dress shop or an office of something that doesnt involve food 24/7, it would make it easier not to snack.. in any case, tomorrow is a new day and I'm going to be good again.. as gross as the whole optifast thing is, I am tempted to do it for a week or two.. I need to get some discipline back..
xx Nene

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