Monday, May 25, 2009

MY WEEK END BENDER

This year seems to be the year for parties.. Why? Because it is the year that I turn 30. Which alos means that some of my friends are reaching that same milestone. So this week end was a visit to the past.. My friend Kelly, had her 30th birthday on friday, and organized a night of drinks and get togethers at the local leagues club (sports club if Amy doesnt know).. but before going on to summarise the events I will give you a quick run down on how Kell and I became friends..
Although we went to the same high school, Kelly and I moved in different circles of friends. I left at the end of grade 10, (was so glad to get out of there), and I think Kelly stayed on for another year.. But a while later, whilst out clubbing underage (16-17, but using my sisters ID) I saw Kel, and she was hooking up with a guy in the same group as the guy I was seeing.. Then the next day we saw eachother and began to hang out and party 5-6 nights a week.. We both had a thing for the "Black men"... to cut a long story short, she got impregnanted by one of those men, and we drifted apart a little by a series of events including a girl who wanted to trouble make between us, and also her boyfriend (father of her baby) didnt like her hanging with me.. I guess he thought I was a bad influence..LOL... but more like we were a bad influence on eachother..
Over the years, Kelly and I have stayed in contact, sometimes often, and sometimes not.. But when we get together it's just like old times (except for the pick up guys thing, I'm married, and she has a partner too) lol.. Kelly now has 5 children (all girls)and I have my 2.. So it makes getting out a little difficult now.
But this week end was an exception, and I was so excited, as it was to be my first night out in about 3 years (tragic huh)so firstly, I had to have the jewelery party that I had already pre arranged, and was going to meet up with Kel and her crew afterwards. I also had another friend who attended the jewelery party come with me.. Her name is Wendy, we met through our sons.. Wendy and I have alot in common, and I knew we would have a good time if I invited her along. Because I didnt want to turn up to Kellys event on my own, when there are alot of people from school who i never really liked that were going to be there..
Soo, jewelery party out of the way.. It was fantastic mind you, and I bought some more bling.. I just hope that I didnt come accross too tipsy in front of all my guests.. Wendy and I started our drinks early.. lol..So once the party was over, hubby looked after ours and wendys kids, and off we went in a taxi to the leagues club.. We got there, and i had to pee, bought a drink, had to pee, found Kel, had to pee, had a ciggie, had to pee and get another drink..
I obviously need to work on my pelvic floor muscles to be able to tollerate drinking.. It was so great to catch up and reminiss of old days with Kel, and also have Wendy meet some of the people that I used to know.. Kelly brought up the past more than a few times, specifically how in Home-ec cooking class, she taste tested my strange smelling speghetti bol, and spat it, only for me to realise that I had brought the wrong mince to school.. Cooking up pet mince instead.. LOL she has never let me live it down. Also another time, she had my back, when I drunkenly got into a fight with a girl who for no reason called me a slut, so i went in for the punch, and landed it, when I then copped one back, and Kel came in to protect me, wearing her halter neck top with no bra, the girl ripped her top to the centre and her Kels titties were on display for all who were watching.. But most importantly, Kell was there for me, when others who were there, werent..
So, after a ridiculous amount of drinks and pisses and socialising at the leagues, we got in a taxi and followed Kelly to the local nightclub.. Which really is very crap, but it's somewhere to dance to modern music at least.. I danced, drank, smoked and pee'd the night away, before coming to the realisation half way through a can of bourbon that I should really stop drinking if I wanted to remain upright.. It wasnt long after that that I sugested that we go home..
Found a cab, got home at about 2:30am, and felt far too sick to go to bed.. Oh, how the room spins... so we sat on my back deck for about half hour, chatting of the nights events, untill I was rudely falling asleep whilst sitting there listen to Wendy talk to me..
Woke that morning at 7:30.. no where near enough sleep... felt a little ill, but not as much as I had expects, but then realised that I was quite possibly still drunk..So after waving wendy off, and having another shower to wash the smoke and alcohol smells off me, and brushing my teeth in a desperate attempt to get rid of the tastes, I crawled back to bed to rest.. I got up a couple of hours later with a head ache and the munchies... had some panadol and heated up a scone that I had made the day before for my party.. I scoffed the scone down too fast, and had to farking PB... how cruel oh how cruel, PB'ing with a mass hangover headache.. after half an hour, lurching over the basin.. I was cleared and had to get ready for work.. Needless to say, I slept like a baby all night, and am back in the land of the living this morning.. It's only 2 weeks till my B'day, and I am seriously contemplating not drinking, even though I am hiring a Daquiri machine for the event...
How was your week end girls???
xx Nene

ME AND MY FRIEND KEL


I'm amazed that I am not cross eyed in this pic... far too much to drink

Thursday, May 21, 2009

OVER THE DRAMA

Ok, so I had my little meltdown yesterday, and was full of bad language and manners.. I DID have a pie in anger, and it was real good.. But left me feeling even more bitter. I got over it and all is good at the mo.
Today is the one day that I get off per week, and after the last 2 days of terrential downpores and flooding, I am happy to snuggle up inside. Although this morning, I took my kids, and off we went to visit my sister, and her new bub.. Now when we used to get together at her place, she would always cook up some oh so good but BAD food.. Today was no different, I had been there 10 minutes, and she's pulling out some chicken kebab sticks from the freezer, and getting them ready to cook.. I had one, and she had a few and the kids also had one each.. I can remember a time when I would have polished off 5 or 6 of them. Thank you dear band..
Tonight is montel's training session for footy, so I think I might do a walk around the field whilst waiting for him..
Dont have a whole lots else to say today, so I'll leave it here before I bore you all..
xx Nene

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

NENES TRIP TO THE DENTIST

First and formost, I want to shout out to my dear blog/band sister SHAGGS... I'm thinking of you girlie.. "BIG HUGS", oh and you can be forgiven for eating all the comfort food and drinking all the pain numbing alcohol this week.. We'll let you off..Take your time, and just know that there are many people looking forward to your return to the blogworld..

Ok, so I went to the dentist FINALY, although I did go to the dentist a week ago to get the voucher, and saw the bitch who was ever so fricken concerned about me fitting in the chair.. She was a skinny bitch.. A little up herself, but with no reason to be coz she was BUTT UGLY!!!.. now now, I know I am being nasty, and I am not usually judgemental and rude and harsh, but she had it coming.. Anyway, so for my appointment this morning, I had a nice looking dentist ( nice for a white guy, as you all should know by now, I am not in the least attracted to white men) (ohhh, that sounds bad, but it's the truth... judge if you wish)... I guess I never got out of that "Black guy phase"... all my friends did..Sooo, back to my dentist story.. I got there, and explained that my teeth are in a state, and some are broken, some need filling, and I need to be able to chew well, blah blah blah.. He did a thorough check, and said that the 2 broken ones need pulling out, and I need 2 fillings.. Sweet Jesus, I brush my fucking teeth, morning, and night, what more do these peggies want??? So, I chose to get the fillings today and the extractions can wait.. Avoiding pain at all costs.. How am I a good role model for my son, when i am just as shit scared of the dentist as him..
Laying back, perfectly comfortable, I might add, in the dentist chair, mouth wide open, saliva gathering in the back of my throat, my tongue going spastic, not knowing which way to dodge the tools that the doc is using on my teeth.. I glare from under my own sunglasses at his silly assistant that should be doing her job by using that sucking tool to clear my mouth from spit.. she couldnt possibly have seen my eyes, but she picked up that sucker, and rid me of that one discomfort.. I wear my own sunglasses instead of their ugly clear goggles that they inflict upon us.. I imagine looking bad enough with my mouth gaped wide open, breathing like a pig thats going to be slaughted through my nose. So I choose to wear my own, let a girl have a little dignity and style..However, I was laying there with my nipples on high beam, in the freezing aircon.. next time I'm taking a bloody throw rug..
Laying there with my hands clenched tightly together over my stomach, my toes curling in my shoes, tongue darting around in seach of the sucky thing in fear of being drowned in more saliva... this went on for 45 minutes, the seat the rose me up, and the little sink at the side was running with water and a cup with some minty solution in it to wash my mouth out with.. It went in well, but try puckering your lips when numb to spit it out... then she useless assistant didnt even give me a tissue to wipe my face on as I wrestles with some thick saliva that I was trying to spit into the magic boul.. then I was promptly kicked out with my face feeling like it had been punched into numbness..
I get to work, feeling very hungry, as I had ran out of time to eat before having to go to the dentist, and didnt want to get something on the way to dirty my freshly brushed teeth, so i got to the shop, and opened drink, trying to suck on a straw was hillarious.. and talking to customers.. ohhh lordy..But I'm glad its over for the time being, and I will most likely hold off from getting my extractions untill they give me pain.. I'm done with dentists for now..
So I sit here 3 hours later, my bottom lip is still numb, and I am starving.. no breakfast and a half spilled drink doesnt quite help, so once again, i am hit by the beautiful aroma of that devil pie oven.. Will I or wont I?? I will leave you thinking...Did she or didnt she..????
xx Nene

Sunday, May 17, 2009

BORING POST

Hello Ladies, lol.. Well I have been trying to think of something exciting to write for you all to read.. Then I come to the sad realisation that my life isnt exciting.. oh well shit happens.. So this past week, I have been losing the fight of tempation that the bastard pie warmer has over me.. I have eatern 2 sausage rolls, and a pasties this week.. Not all on the same day, but all in one friggen week.. Soo bad.. But they taste ohh so good..
I think my restriction is all over the place too.. Sometimes I have a bite or two of something, and I'm full, but then other times, I can stuff a whole bread and butter plate of food in, and possibly even go back for more.. But I am starting to try to have a heavy breakfast of 2pce of Burgen Soy-lin toast, topped with a poached egg on each and a small serve of baked beans on the side, washed down with a cup of tea, which I usually try to drink about 5 mins before eating the breakfast.. By the time I finish this, I am chok-a-block (Full), and I dont think so much of food untill my lunch.. Which I have still been sticking to the "salad" and a chicken thigh fillet cooked with a bit of garlic.

But I have encountered a new problem.. I get full from eating my meal, then feel really thirsty, even half an hour later, and am too full to even get a drink in.. I hate it when I am eating something super yum, then get full or stuck, I sit there miserable with my hands in the air, trying to make more room, just so I can finish it.. LOL.. wish there was a band for my bad habbit ridden brain.. I think that could be the problem with why my drink wont go down, because my pouch is stuff to the brim with food.. When will I ever learn.??

As far as the weightloss goes, I dont feel like I have lost any lately.. but then again, I am trying not to focus on that too much.. too frustrating and annoying..
Change of subject..... my son wanted to join the rugby leage team (football, kind of like gridion, but without the puffy uniforms) a couple of months ago, and by the time we got to doing it, it was too late for him to get into the team that he wanted to (his friends team, and his friend's dad is the coach).. anyway, so for some reason, it was all my fault that he missed out, and for a week or two, I was the worst mother in the world. Then on thursday night I got a call from Wendy (montels friends mum), and was asked if Montel was interested in joining the team, as they were a player down.. I didnt bother to consult Montel, I just said YES!!! (I'm off the hook).. So after telling Montel the news, he was nearly in tears, not wanting to play.. why didnt I ask him first?? all the rest.. anyway on Friday, I let Montel have the day off school so I could take him to get some passport pics, and take him to the leagues club to sign up.. All this time, he was long faced and miserable, saying he didnt want to play.. ( Montel is a boy with very low confidence) We got to the Leagues Club, and waited to speak with the team manager.. After paying the $45, filling out forms, and Montel getting his team shirt, his grin was huge.. FINALLY he was happy..
He wore his shirt all afternoon, and daddy took him to buy the socks and shorts on saturday morning, to which I was greeted with him wearing them all when I got home from work in Saturday afternoon.
Lastnight, he kept saying that he couldnt sleep because he was so nervous, I told him that everything would be fine and it's just like playing in the park with his mates like he always does. He went to sleep with a smile on his face.. He woke this morning, and I told him that he needed a good breakfast to have the energy to play the game today, I said "A car wont go unless it has petrol in it, so you need food to fuel your body". He looked at me like I was stupid and said "I'm not a car mum". He never did eat his breakfast, and even excused himself to go to the toilet.. "nervous stomach"... we arrived at the game, and he became at ease once meeting all the players, and training with them.. he didnt get to play today because his I.D card hasnt arrived from the club yet, so he watched, and hopefully learned.. I just hope that this will build his confidence.. I know how he feels, because I too was very shy and insecure at his age.. I never wanted the spotlight on me. Anyway, whilst at the game, I was offered a chair to sit on, (an outdoor plastic one), and automatically said no, because I always have declined sitting on them. I dont want to bend the legs, or snap it completely..But then realised that I was no longer the biggest woman in the crowd. And there were bigger women than me sitting on these particular chairs.. It is a great feeling knowing that I am no longer the Biggest in the crowd.. well I guess I would be at some places, but not this place today.. I wonder if thats because alot of the "footy mums" spend too much time at the canteen, buying the deliscious smelling sausage sizzles, burgers etc...But not me, I bought my coke zero and sipped away.. hubby bought 2 sausage sizzles (bbq's sausage on bread topped with onion and sauce), but there is not a pinch of fat on him..why oh why oh why... not fair..

Well thats all I've got for today.. I gotta go to work this arv, whoopy doo... actually , apart from the pie oven issues, i dont mind it.. It's kind of like a social life for me.. apart from one bitch of a customer..but I'll save that story for next time..
xx Nene

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

PHOTOGRAPHY & RUDE DENTAL RECEPTIONIST




My daughter has started taking pictures of herself with my camera.. I know she is doing this because she see's me doing it.. I have only really taken head shot photos to put on facebook, email to friends and family etc.. Because everytime I look at a full shot, it turns my stomach.. Anyway, this morning I was trying to wressle the camera off my little prima dona daughter, and she asked if she could take a picture of me, then I could have it back... so this is what came out...She even has the remnants of coco pops on her face.. Gotta love it..
For the first time in I cant remember how long. I am actually looking in the mirror or pictures and liking what I see.. I mean, of course I still stare at the negative things about my body, and wish them away, but I know they will go, then perhaps I will find something new about myself that I dont like.. We are never truely happy are we??
Today i have been winning the battle of this ongoing game of temptation with the bloody pie oven.. Why oh why did we have to get in the mother of all temptations... THE BREAKY PIE... let me break it down for you... this is like a plain meat pie on the bottom, then they have a cracked egg in there topped with lots of cheese and bacon... There is no pastry top on this one, just mouthwatering melted cheese and bacon.. This is just cruelty.. BUT I have been good.. I brought my trusty yummy salad and some chicken thigh fillet to work and cooked up my chicken and had my salad.. Now I am so full that the breaky pie doesnt bother me, but that is of course untill tomorrow.. Grrrrr
I called the dentist at the hospital yesterday and complained that I need something sorted with my teeth... they will fix one for now, and then I will have to ring and make an appointment for another, ONLY if I am in pain with it.. I said, I have so many that are in desperate need of repair, I dont know which to begin with... Anyway, I will go and get something done tomorrow. I hate the dentist with a passion.. but I explained on the phone that I need my teeth in good condition because I have a lapband and NEED to be able to chew my food well.. So, when arranging the appointment, the lady asked me twice if I will be able to get in and out of the dental chair... I nearly ripped her through the phone...how fucking fat does she expect me to be.. ?? Then to add insult to injury, after assuring her that I am more than able to FIT into a fucking dental chair, she asks me the same question AGAIN!!!!... I cant wait to see her tomorrow.. I should ask her when i arrive, if she thinks I will fit in the chair..I dont know... am I being to hard on her? She's really not to know is she... but a lapband is for eople to lose weight not to bloody gain it..
Anyway, I've supplied you with more pics, and raved on for long enough... My dailty duty is done...
Love you all long time...lol
xx Nene

Monday, May 11, 2009

ALL IS WELL WITH MY BAND, NO LEAKS

Well today I went for my appointment with Dr Duncombe ( my fill nurse, surgeons offsider), and according to her scales, which I have pretty much based my weigh in's on.. I am now 123.9kg... Woohoo... So I have lost more than I though.. 23kg now.. I was starting to wonder if this is the weight I would always be, and thought that paying $19,000 to lose 20kg was pretty crap.. But now it seems, the merry go round is spinning again, and I'm on it..
I also asked the doc about why I can eat so much of certain foods before getting full, and that I am worried that my band may have a slow leak, and so forth and so on.. She reasured me that I was doing well, and have lost an average of .9kg per week for the last month, and that my body must be coping and working really well with the band, as I can still eat rice, pasta, soft drink, some breads but obviously still have enough restriction to be losing weight.
I guess I just really cant get my head around that fact that i could quite possibly end up slim... I dont mean skinny slim, but I mean slim enough to buy clothes off the rack of any shop that tickles my fancy. I can't picture myself slim, because I have have been..
Ohh, while I think of it... Who is losing their hair?? Who's hair is just not as it used to be before the band..? mine is up to shit... I straightened my hair this morning after washing it, then blowdrying it, and can't believe just how much of my hair was all over the floor and in the bath tub and over my clothes, in the basin, hanging off the straightener.. I've heard of "Lapband Hair", and I think I must have it... Some days it's oily as hell, and I look like some homeless street bum that hasn't washed it for a year, then other days it dry and kind of like straw... Maybe I should get on to the vitamins or something.. I never did take them after being banded, tasted like fermented piss. LOL, well perhaps not that bad, not that I have tried it..but it did look like a very dehydrated persons urine.. Oh YUK!!! anyway, perhaps I should take something to get my hair back on track..
I also asked my doc to put me on the pill, as my Depo shot is due for a rejab, and it doesnt agree with me, gives me 2 week long periods, pimples, headaches, and turnes me into the bitch from hell. I guess I wont be able to use the Depo shot anymore as an excuse for the latter.. Once again, I have had my period for 11 days and its still going strong.. Sucks to be me.
I wanna use some of this newly aquired flexibility as a result from the weightloss. I wanna get jiggy with it.. LOL, and I know hubby feels the same.. the hands creap accross me, then all of a sudden come to a halt when he realises that I got my granny jox on.. LOL.. poor thing.. but poor me more importantly..
xx Nene

Sunday, May 10, 2009

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

Well this morning, like every other morning, was the same ritual. Make breakfast for hubby and kids, clean/tidy the house, shower get dressed etc. etc.. Only today, we decided to go to the Rocklea Markets (about a 40 minute drive away).. talk about total chaos.. It seemed everyone in Brisbane was there either buying flowers for their mother, wife, sister, aunt, step mum etc.. or they were there to have breakfast, which I really cant blame them with all the heavenly smells wafting through the air.. However, I stayed strong, even when buying a serve of hot chips for my kids, I didnt even pick one out for myself.. Nope, not a single chip..
So, what did I get for mothers day?? After much hinting, and joking that I never get anything, hubby took Montel (our 9 year old son) out for a drive yesterday afternoon, they came back with a lovely bunch of pink carnations and a card, which I put the card aside to open this morning.. So, when I woke this morning, hubby wished me a HMD and handed me the card.. I opened it, and laughed because it is the exact same card that I bought for my mum.. LOL.. so at least they had good taste.. Inside the card were 2 crossword scratch its.. (scratch off lotto style tickets) An hour later hubby asks "Did we win anything on the scratch it's".. hmm hmm, who's friggen scratchies are they... LOL..
Anyway, I am running short of time and had better scratch my crosswords before I go to work..
I hope you all have a great day and are spoilt rotten..
Ohhh I almost forgot.. I stopped at Krispy Creme on the way back from the markets, and got 1/2 dozen beautiful looking morsels.. lol... I probably wont touch them, might just give them to mum and dad..
xx Nene

Friday, May 8, 2009

UPDATE...weightloss finally happening again..

I thought I would share some pics of my workplace with you, so you can all see what I have to deal with on a daily basis.. So enjoy browsing in the posts below...And as you will see, it is hard to be me in this fight against flab whilst working in a place like this..
Now for the update.. Strangely it does seem that I am having a little more restriction.. I wonder if it is because I am doing what i was told to do in the beginning, and that is have my protein part of my meal first, and I have also cut down my carbs dramaticaly.. I am pretty much soldiering along with my salads and bits of chicken.. Porridge from breakfast, keeps me right till lunch time too.. it's good.. And even yesterday, I tried on a top that was still not looking much good a couple of weeks ago, and it looked ok. I even wore it for the day.. It was really the first time I could look in the mirrow and see that I have lost weight.. Sooo, I decided to go to the local chemist and weigh myself on the "fat person scales" ... I was quite happy with the outcome... 124.5kgs... So I guess I have finally started losing weight again.. Hallalujah.. So my goal to get down to 120kgs is starting to look acheivable..
xx Nene

PICS of my dailty temptations...

We got some chocolate hearts in for Mothers Day.. I just had to sample one...
The SLUSH PUPPY MACHINE... 6 different flavours of icy yummyness..

Chocolate Mini Mudcakes, Banana, Apple, Blueberry or chocolate muffins...


The view as you walk into our shop..



The counter.. all 50c bags of lollies.. including those mongrel bastard cobbers that broke my tooth.. LOL..





PICS of my daily temptations

Of course there has to be the biscuit rack...
Followed by a big weakness of mine potato chips.. (crisps)

The Lolly Rack (Candy)



The Oh So Devilish Chocolate Fridge.. Although I dont like cold chocolate, so if I am feeling particularly like a bit (of chocolate that is), I just tuck a Caramello Koala down my bra till it's soft.. So So Bad.. You'd never think that pre-band, I didnt like chocolate..



Lifesavers.. very oldschool, and I'm not that into them, but when you're trying to be disciplined, everything looks good..




Wednesday, May 6, 2009

POSSIBLE LAPBAND CANDIDATE?


I seriously dont know whether to laugh or cry over the pic of this poor dog.. How could you let the poor dog get like that?? But looking at it, brings back memories of how I felt pre-band.. too fat and farked to even stand up.. lol... is this what my husband used to wake up to?? LMAO
My sense of humour is sick today..
xx Nene

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

FAMILIAR FEELINGS, PB's and BREAKING TEETH

Well I have made an appointment for next monday, that is the first available that I could get.. however, I am strangely starting to feel restriction.. whodathunkit?? Yesterday I decided that I am not going to eat rice anymore, well for a little while at least.. Oh how hard it is going to be... I love my husband exotic cooking, and our indian take away.. but these are all doing no good for my waitstline.. and the reast of my flabby body..
So, yesterday for lunch, we had a barbeque (for the american, a cookout..lol) and I ate 2 chicken 1 barbecue sausage and 1 chicken wing and half a plate of my favourite salad.. I was suprisingly full.. Perhaps because I chewed well, didnt drink with it, and ate my meat BEFORE I ate the salad.. In fact, I didnt even finish all my salad.. I was happy with my portion.. then I didn't snack all afternoon at work, shock horror.. Being surrounded by lollys (candies) and chocolates, and potato chips all afternoon, is normals a never ending fight against my cravings.. but I managed not to cave in to them.. I waited untill dinner and had left over 2 chicken wings, and another half plate of salad.. This time however, I had that good, or should I say not so good ol' tight feeling deep under my cleavage... I was walking/pacing around the house with my arms up in the air, when I smiled at hubby and said "It must be working again".. I then had had enough of the discomforting pain and went for a lurch into the basin.. I am proud of how well I have that whole PB, blockage removal thing going.. Gross I know, but when you gotta get something outta the way, you just gotta do it..
So, as part of my new lease on band life, I have decided that I want to be down to 120kg by my birthday on 5th june.. Hence, the reason that I am cutting out the rice.
This morning I had porridge for breakfast, then a banana for morning tea, followed my chick and salad for lunch, no afternoon snack, and a small KFC popcorn chicken for dinner.. I know that was a bad choice for dinner, but after a long day at work, and typing up my hubbys assignment, I was too tired and lazy to want to prepare anything.. In any case, I am still happy with my effort for today.. I didnt have an ice cream, I didnt have a pie or sausage roll, I didnt open a packet of honey Soy Chicken, Red Rock Deli Chips.. Oh, they are so good.. But I didnt.. Nope, not even a single lolly entered my mouth.. Ohh, but I have a story to tell you of how I broke my tooth last week on a cobber.. ( a cobber is a chewy hard caramel, covered in chocolate) I was bagging the cobbers into 50c bags, and popped one into my mouth, I chewed down once, then felt that strange twang... I realised something was wrong, so I spat the offending chew into a tissue only to see my tooth moulded into it.. NOT HAPPY JAN!!!! I do need to go see the dentist, as I have some cavitys that need fixing.. I HATE the dentist with a passion, and have held off for the longest time..but this calls for servicing.. I have brushed my teeth morning and night ever since I can remember, however, the dentist informed me last time that me teeth are showing signs of deterioration due to too much soft drink.. (Coke Zero, Diet Coke and Pepsi Max etc.) not to mention the copious amounts of alcohol mixed with those drinks over the years..I even bear the scar of once chipping a tiny bit of my tooth on the bowl when praying to the paucilain gods during a big bender... oh the memories.. actually not that I have many memories of that night.. LOL
Well, I guess I should get up from the puter and get myself sorted for tomorrow..
xx Nene

Sunday, May 3, 2009

HAVE I SPRUNG A LEAK?!?!

Ok, so I have been a little concerned that I may have a leak in my band or something.. I mean I could possibly be worrying all for nothing.. But listen to my case..
I too, like MISSPIGGYCHRONICLES have a 10cm (4ml) band.. and I too thought it was a 10 ml band instead of a 10 cm band.. Sheesh.. quite a difference... Anyway.. After talking to "Miss Piggy" on the phone, I learned that our band is the 4 ml one.. I got alarmed because right now I have 3ml in my band, and as far as restriction goes, I can eat a bread and butter sized plate of rice.. That is far too much, I think.. As I was also talking to another bandster who is now at goal weight (she lost 40kg in 8 months), and she has 3.25 in a 4ml band, she said that there is no way she could eat that much.. She asked me an example of what I could eat.. I told her I ate a sausage roll for lunch (naughty I know, kick my ass later) and she gasped, because there is no way she could fit that in.. Hmmm, this gets me stressing.. Because I was thinking back to when I had 2 mls in, and I felt like I was PB'ing a lil too much, then I go get another ml, and now I havent PB'd (not that I want to) at all.
So tonight, I sat at the table, and diliberately scoffed at my food, to see if anything would get stuck, or if I would feel any discomfort.. Well I did get the discomfort, and felt like my food was sitting up in my bloody windpipe, but no pain like I used to experience.. I am worried that the band may have slipped, the pouch may have stretched or something drastic..
I CANNOT AFFORD FOR ANYTHING TO GO WRONG WITH THIS BAND!!! I AM NOT INSURED!!!! I am going to try to get an appointment with my nurse this week, and if I can't, I am going to call the surgeons office.
The "goal weight lady" said that it may only be .1 or .2 of a ml that I need to get me to that "sweet spot" wherever the bloody hell that may be..
I mightn't be so stressed if I had a pair of scales that didnt mock me every freakin time I stand on them.. for example, this morning I stood on them.. they read 126.7 then I toddle off to the toilet, do my pee and come back, hop on the scales again... they read 124.6, then again 2 seconds later....125.7... I dont know whether I'm bloody coming or going with those stupid bloody things.. I do however notice that I am still getting that little oil slick on my urine. (sorry to gross you all out) but that should mean that the fat is still coming out of me..if not, its time for a trip to the gyno..LMAO...
Oh well I shall keep you up to date..
xx Nene

Friday, May 1, 2009

VENTING

Right now I need to vent to get something off my chest.. You see a few days ago, I was at the local shopping centre and ran into an aquantance whom I have not seen for about a year.. She is a big girl herself, and is also pregnant now, so she tells me (I couldnt tell by looking) now I'm sounding bitchy by that snide remark, but I feel like I'm entitled to after the conversation we had. After her telling me that she was expecting, and only has 14 weeks to go, she asked me if I would be having any more children, when I told her "At this stage no, because I recently got a lapband" to which she raised her eyebrows and said "Thats a bit drastic isnt it?".. I said "no, it's the best thing I have ever done, and have lost around 21kgs so far." To which she responded... and get this.. how fucking rude (excuse my angry language) She says, looking me up and down "Jeez you must have been really Huuuge before getting it then."... I bit my tongue in wanting to tell her that she would make a bloody prime candidate for a band, and that she has no tact..

I know that the weight I have lost isn't as noticable on me as it would be on a smaller built person.. But I am PROUD of what I have acheived so far, and to hell with any negativity from that bitch or anybody else.. I still intend to be open about my band, and not let one persons insensitivity ruin my journey.

xx Nene