Friday, June 26, 2009


I went to Dr Duncombe this morning, having mixed emotions.. One feeling of nervousness because I didnt want to hear that there is a leak, and a feeling of excitement because I would get to jump on her trusty scales and get a propper reading of my weightloss for the last fornight.
So I get called in from the waiting room, and as I enter the room stripping off my jacket, I head straight for the scales.. Get the good stuff out of the way first..dah, dah-dah daaaaah, 120.9kg.. This is a 4kg loss in only 2 weeks, BUT I was hoping to make it just under 120kg.. dammit.. But all in all I'm happy with it..So then it was time for a little small talk on what I been eating, and how much, and I gace the e.g of not being able to finish a hash brown.. which was met with a dissapproving look.. I was quick to explain, that it is not a regular choice.. So, after also explaining that I have been PBíng a lil bit too much, she said taking into account of losing the 4kg, that I should have a little bit out. So I got up on the bed, whilst she prepped the needle, and I reminded her that she would need to check the fill to make sure there were still 2mls in there.. And ....there was... Thank God!!! So she removed .25ml, and now I have 1.75mls in.. Which hopefully will keep the weightloss happening, but allow me a little more flexability when it comes to what food I am able to eat. So my new goal is to have lost 30kg by my 6month bandiversary.. in a months time. Shouldnt be too hard to do.. I hope..

Oh and I would like mention my sadness at hearing of Michael Jackson's and Farrah Forcetts Deaths.. both taken far too early in life. May they rest in peace. I know that many people have their own opinion of Michael Jackson, and I dont care to hear of any negativity. He was a very talented man, and his music has always been a part of my life. Even my kids sing his music, and know all the words. It is also sad that Farrahs death is being a overshaddowed by Michaels, but what can be done about it?? Very sad..

xx Nene

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


Is that better? No bathrooms or mirrors involved.. lol This is me before work this morning..
Nene xx

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


Well, this morning, I woke and was once again fossicking through my wardrobe to find something to wear.. I bravely pulled out my pair of size 20 Brown jeans that I have had for about 6 years.. I used to work at 1626 before it was called Autograph.. So I had plenty of clothes, and over the jears as I have outgrown them, I have just given them away.. When you work in a clothing store, you lose appreciation for clothes and tire of them too fast.. But this one pair of Jeans, I kept.. I'm not even usually into wearing brown.. But this pair of jeans have always escaped eviction.. So i thought I would give them a go this morning, as I know that since I last tried them on, I have lost a considerable amount of weight. And to my excitement, they did up comfortably, no sucking in my stomach, or squirming into them.. YES!!! another new wearable piece in my wardrobe. So as you will see in the pics above, I am wearing them. Sorry the pics are a bit dodgey, but the kids were still asleep, and I didnt want to wake them to take my picture. lol
It will soon be my 5 month bandiversary, I am stunned at how fast the time has gone. I will post more body shots of me then..
I wont bore you with any more ramblings untill I see my nurse on friday.. hopefully it will all be good news.. I am also dying to find out how much I weigh..
Have a good day/week girls..
Nene xx

Sunday, June 21, 2009


Hello everyone, well today I dont have a whole lot to talk about, but we will see where this post takes us.. lol
So, as it seems, my son is a rain maker.. strange... yes... Since he started playing football just over a month ago, it has rained EVERY SINGLE TIME he has played.. The first game was actually washed out, so no one could play at all, the next game on a Friday night, it had been fine all week, and at half time, it pissed down.. litterally bucketed down.. I was in fact suprised that the officials let the game go on, as there was even a little bit of thunder rumbling in the back ground. But it went on, and the mightly little Redcliffe Dolphin Under 9s (my sons team) won.. so that was first game down.. then the following game on a Sunday morning 9am, once again, what started out as a gorgeous morning, sunny and all, a darkness crossed the sky and all parents ran for cover just as our boys team was warming up.. It was frigging cold, and windy and rainy, I just wanted the game to be cancelled and to cuddle up to my boy and make him warm.. But noooo, it went on, and once again, they won 36-6.. Then once again this morning...more freakin rain.. but they won again.. Quite a good lil team my boy is in.. But this rain on game days is giving me the shit.. even more so because I have a damn cold, and sitting in the cold rain doesnt help it any..

I seiously wish I knew what was going on with my own body with this band.. I mean, when it comes time to eat, I feel like I can consume a whole lotta food, but after a bite or two it have to give up the idea of food for an hour or 2. Because it gets stuck or causes too much discomfort.. But if I have porridge, it wont be long till I can eat something else.. Strange..I will hold out till friday when I have my appointment with Dr Duncombe. I'm sure she will set me right.. But at the moment, I'm not making my food choices at what is best and healthiest, but what will not get stuck. but by saying this, I dont mean I am reaching for fat or sugar laden food.. But still not enough nutrient enriched foods. I am getting very anxious to know what I weigh according to the clinic scales... I so hope that I am down to 120kg by friday.. it is a good possibility, as I do know that I have had some pretty good loss since my fill.. and the fact that it is still tight is also a good sign that there may not be a leakage.. Am also kind of wondering if perhaps my nurse has missed the mark (the port) a lil too often and maybe not put the fills in in the past that she was supposed to... Oh who knows, but I should know something more on Friday.
So now, I discovered that I can no longer eat even wrap bread, any kind of pastry on pies or sausage rolls (thank god), even any more than 4 hot chips.. (ohh the pain) I dont have a problem with saucy pasta and even had some of my husbands Jaloff rice (about 3 spoons of it) and it didnt hurt. But now after all this time, I am finding that softdrinks (diet softdrinks of course) are starting to be a bit of a problem.. I can get it down, but it takes a bit of time and almost feels like it might come back up. But lots of ice and persaverence helps it to work.. I know I should drink more water, but the fact is, I just dont like it too much..(just call me a stubborn bitch) In summer I do drink alot more water, but just not right now..
So as I mentioned earlier, I have a cold, and it feels like a bus ran into my head, not a pretty look to be serving customers with a rudolph (reindeer) nose.. Sniffling, and grunting as I go.. I do take every precaution not to spread my germs, I am constantly using the Aquim hand sanitizer, so much so, that it is drying my hands out from all the alcohol it contains.. its my drinks that I prefer to contain the alcohol.. I really dont get sick very often, so I am wondering if it because I havent been able to eat enough nutrients (and no I dont take my multivitamin like I should, it tastes like shit).. that my immunity was low enough for me to get sick.. And now that I have it, I know that my daughter will get it because I am the truck, and she is my trailer... She is up my ass wherever I go. (oh I do love her to bits though).
Today is my husbands 33rd Birthday.. at times like this, I really feel for him, in the way of him not having any family here. I mean, I know that in his culture, they dont really celebrate birthdays, but i'm sure that deep down he would feel a little homesick at this time. Because over here, when I or my sister or family members have a birthday, the family gets together to celebrate it.. And not only that, I visited his country in 2007, and even I am homesick for the place.. so it would be hard. Soo, HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY!!!
Well thats enough ramblings from me.. I really didnt have anything in particular to post about, but I felt that I owe it to my fellow blog sisters to write something, as I know how excited I get to read a new one from them. THANKS AMY, I love to read your blog and look at your pics..
Actually whilst on that... I have noticed that I am getting a few followers these days, and also through my feedjit application that there are people from all over the world reading my blog, BUT not leaving any feedback comments... Kind of feels like being stalked.. LMAO... oh I dont mind.. read along..
Well thats enough rambling from me today..
xx Nene

Friday, June 19, 2009


Well now it seems this whole restriction thing is getting beyond a joke..I mean it is all fine and dandy and very exciting to be losing weight at a faster pace again, BUT I just dont think all the PBing is worth it.. I mean, yesterday, I was in a rush to get My son off to school, as he had to be there early for sports carnival day, and I had to race out to buy a new computer, as ours at home had finally seen its last days.. So by the time the jerk at Harvey Norman (Home and Electrics Shop) had sold me the computer, and I was on my merry way to check out the manchester sales at Kmart, I felt a grumble from my tunny and thought I better put something in it.. So after picking up a nice tribal black and white doona cover, a single doona for Ayisha''s bed (even though she dont sleep in the damn thing) and of course some cheap little outfits for my lil Diva, I raced over to the food court, and looked around.. Mcdonalds, Pizza, Doner Kebabs, Roast Meat and Veges, Subway or Chinese were my options... So I wandered over to the chinese shop and bought 2 mini spring rolls.. Knowing that I cant eat much in portion size, and that the spring roll should chew down to slop, it shouldnt have been a problem.. How wrong was I? I rushed out to the car, packed it up with all my latest purchases, and was excited telling Ayisha that we have to cheer for brother when he is in his running races... I had my first bite.. very nice, very small... and then another bite... OUCH!!! discomfort, swallowing , swallowing (the kind of swallowing that you do before you vomit)... then I try burping and nothing happens... So I pull the underwires of my bra over my boobs, and as I have a low cut top on, this doesnt look too pretty as I go through Mcdonalds to get madam some lunch.. I just try to be a bit discreet in tugging my jacket over, in hope that the girl in the window doesnt think that I am a flasher.. but even removing the underwires, and holding my breath is doing nothing to relieve the painfull discomfort..
I pull up at the sports carnival and see that the teams are lined up and ready to race.. (this is the highlight of Montels school year, he loves to run, and sports in general, and is in fact very good at it)... I grab a handfull of saggy boob and pop it back into the cup, and do the same with the other one, I hustle Ayisha out of the car, and we are running across the field, I wanted Montel to see that we were there before he raced, as I know it means alot to him to have us cheering him on.. So in all of my discomfort, I get top the sideline, and am holding back a vicious PB.. I see a mother of one of Montels friends over in the distance smiling over our way, but am on the very of being sick, and dont feel like I can even muster the words to talk to her, so I avoid eye contact, and cheer my little pcket rocket on, as he won his race.. (So Proud) I used to do all I could to pull a sicky on sports days at school.. I was athletically challenged.. LMAO.. nah, just too damn fat, and didnt want to wear the track dacks (sports lycra undies) that they used to run in.. So I am all for encouraging my children to get right into sport, and keep their bodies right.. I know how it felt to be teased and feel uncomfortable, and I dont want that for them..
All in all, maybe it was something in the screaming for Montel to run, the discomfort dissapeared.. Thank god, so I made my way over to the smiling mother, and made my appologies with an explanation. She also mentioned that it (the band) explained why I look so good... well thank you.. love to hear compliments..

So, after the whole spring roll issue, my stomach must have curled up and put a DO NOT ENTER sign in the door, because I really had no appettite even at 5pm when my sister asked what I will have for dinner, I said that I wasnt hungry, and was shocked at the fact that I had only really had a bite or 2 of a mini spring roll all day.. really should have been drinking more fluids though.. Then Wendy called, as it was football training for our boys (sons), so she asked if I wanted to go to Sushi Train with her... Oh what torture.. I had just gotten addicted to sushi before being banded, I couldnt pass a sushi shop without buying a piece, and now was sitting face to train with carraige after carraige of yummy looking morsels.. I never used to get the fishy ones, just the chicken or egg ones. But on this train of yummyness, there were ginger chicken kebab sticks and bits of fried chicken with lemon, and heavenly looking sushi... So I knew not to risk the sushi after my last sushi episode (blogged about long ago).. so I went for the chicken kebab sticks to share with Ayisha, took 2 bites, and once again... had to rush out to the bathroom for a throw... By this time I was well and truely over the whole band tightness thing.. my intention one day is to be able to go there and go hammer and tongs at that damn sushi train... I wanted it all, but could have nothing.. In the end, just as we were about to leave, I spotted a tempura vegetable plate coming around, I packed it up and took it away.. finally, I ate something that didnt hurt me..
Now this morning... I was once again in a rush and thought I better have something before coming into work so I dont come in and suck on chocolates for breakfast... So, as I was preparing Montels school lunch, I put some vegemite on 3 water crackers (little thin round ones) and ate them.. chew chew chew, blah blah blah... and once a friggin gain, the painfull disomfort, and a quick yack in the bathroom to get rid of the slime... I had a few sips of tea, and couldnt finish it...
Am feeling tired early in the evenings, I think its because I'm really not eating enough.. The wait loss is noticable and fantastic, BUT I need to eat.. Not that I am hungry, but for nutrients..
I have a cold coming on, have been sneezing all morning.. Perhaps is was the filthy dirty female customer that came into the shop on wednesday saying "I really shouldnt be out, but I'm bored at home" .. she says this whilst wiping the snot from her nose up the sleave of her jacket.. and the silly bitch came in to buy ciggarettes with a cough that sounded like she was an old car starting..
Anyway, I'm wondering how lunch will go today.. I have chosen a healthy choice mini meal, creamy cabonara, nice and saucy in hope that it will go gown without a fight..

Nene xx
I got my

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


Just thought I would update you on my restriction.. and when I write restriction it should still be with a big capital "R". This morning I stopped at Mcdonalds for a breaky treat for the kids, and as I hadnt had my breakfast, I got myself a hash brown.. Well I didnt even get all the way through it, and was either full or stuck, so I left about 1/4 of it for my son to finish off. Lastnight for dinner, I made some beef taco mince and a herb and garlic potato bake. Well I got down about 2 table spoons of mince and the same of the potato bake.. Once again, I had the discomfort and had a lil PB.. It seems that I can eat the Healthy Choice mini meals or cabonara, or bolegnaise.. I guess because they are saucy.. The restriction is a little frustrating, but at the moment, I prefer to have the frustration and see the results..
Yesterday morning when I was getting dressed, I looked into the mirror and finally saw a difference. My hips are no longer huge chunks at my sides, and I am starting to have the formation of a butt.. not just a big ol'block at my back end..
I also love the fact that when I give hubby a hug, I can get in nice and close, not be pushed away by my own stomach.. Also laying on my side in bed, I can breath well, instead of breathing like a pig that is about to be slaughtered.. (hubby's saying)
Simple daily tasks are no longer tiring.. I love it.
I called Ferwood womens gym yesterday to inquire about membership prices, and am seriously considering giving it a go.. I want to look good for Christmas. I want to be in at least a size 14-16 by then, I am sure this is realisticly achievable. I am currently in between a 20-22.. depends on where the garment is from. But a 22 is too big in the waist, just comfy on the hips..
Have a good day
Nene xx

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


Here is a different hairstyle for "hairstylist Nola".. lol... this is my natural curl, and I hate it, which is why I always straighten my hair. Was bored at work, and thought I would take this pic..
I checked myself on the scales this morning, and was pleasantly suprised to see that they read 122kgs. Which means I have had a pretty good loss since my fill on friday.. I am still having very good restriction, which is good, but it leaves me a little frustrated when there is a limit to what I can eat without PBíng.. Yesterday i was drinving along with hubby, and we got some hot chips and gravy to snack on as it was lunch time, and he wanted to eat lunch at home, I ate about 8 chips, and had to pull over and have a lil chuck.. not a good look on the side of a busy road.. But it had to be done..
Will keep you updated..
xx Nene

Saturday, June 13, 2009


Well I have had 24 hours of GOOD restriction.. infact, I'm pretty sure that my bans is a tight as a fishes asshole.. And I was Oh so naughty this morning.. But it was more of a dare deveil attempt to see if I could or couldnt.. But I tried my luck with a pie.. And as much as it hurt and got stuck after only 2 nites, I am so so happy about it.. This tightness has cured me of my pie bingeing.. Well almost.. because after throwing the bit up, I went back and chewed and spat the rest.. Oh thats bad isnt it.. My excuse is... It's freakin cold, and milk and cereal just aint doin'it for me. Anyway. I doubt that I will slide that pie oven door open for myself again. I will gladly sell them all, and not think twice about smuggling one to the side for myself.. But I guess my lack of fill prior to yesterday only made way for me to indulge in that meaty hotness that is called a pie. I have PB'd twice since my fill yesterday, and am becoming quite expert at having a quick 'ralph' in between customers, even it it looks to them like I'm pulling a "i need to shit" face.

My hubby wanted us to go to our fave Indonesian Restaurant today, but it would only be wasted money on my part, and I also dont want to have to find a qick exit for a PB.. I am going to tread very carefully now.. Lastnight for dinner, I have one of the Healthy Choice 1/2 size meal.. you know the 2 in 1 pack. I had chicken bolegnaise.. I finished it without a problem, and it was enough to satisfy me. But I wasnt choc-a-bloc full.. I guess I also need to learn that I dont have to feel that way in order to be 'finished' a meal... Perhaps I should have had a few more consults with the psycologist.. lol.

I am however, hoping that in this next 2 weeks, I will lose enough weight to get me down to 120kgs. Hopefully my body will be in enough shock from the sudden restriction and lack of pies that it just might do what it did in the beginning and perform the miricle of rapidly losing fat.. well fingers crossed anyway..

Oh and I guess as the saying goes "Be carefull what you wish for".. Well I wanted to get my band unfilled for my birthday... and decided against it.. and it was empty after all, but just not by choice..

Have a good week end girls..
Oh and Shaggs... where have you dissapeared too.. miss your posts.. miss you...xx
xx Nene

Friday, June 12, 2009

FUCKETY FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! (sorry bout the language, but it is warranted)

Well girls, do you want the bad news or the bad news??? #1 I have put on 1kg.. and #2 I have a leak... Yes, I went to my nurse today to get a fill, as I have been able to eat FAR TOO MUCH.. and when I say far too much, I mean, a whole plate of food at sizzler, plus a bowl of dessert and a drink.. or a bread and butter plate covered in rice and stew... these portions were getting out of control.. and food was on my mind and in my mouth all damn day long..
So when I went in to the nurse this morning, I told her that I didnt feel like I have lost weight, and knew that I hadn't, as I had also splurged on my birthday weekend, and so forth.. So I got on the scales, and saw that I now weigh in at 124.6kg.. Fuckety Fuck ... but I thought to myself, I'll just get stricter, and get tightened up, so i told her that I want to get back to business and tighten up, but asked her first to check how my fill was.. So, I laid on the bed, did my half sit up kind of thingy.. Shit I hate that.. then she said she would put 1 ml in. Then after jabbing around anf finding the port, she said out loud "Oh dear, this isnt good". I asked her what the problem is, and she said "There's nothing in there". I said that there should be 3mls in there.. And, there was not a fucking drop... So she told me not to panic, and that I should let her try filling the band with some thicker stuff instead of the usual saline. So she put 2.5ml in, and I instantly felt a difference, she gave me a drink of water, and I couldnt get my 2nd sip down, and my stomach was certainly making itself known, with all the burbling and gurgling. So she told me to sit for a minute and see how I felt.. then after the racket going on inside me, she suggested that she take out half a ml.. Which was when I felt instant relief and comfort when she did. I now have very good restriction, and couldnt even finish a small potato and gravy from KFC at lunch. The restriction I had when I was first banded.. Its great.
I have to go back in 2 weeks for another check to see how this fill is.. I just hope she pulls out the 2ml when she checks it. I, as I have said before, am not insured, so I cannot afford for anything to go wrong. Of course, my parents have already offered that if need be, they will pay for anything needed to fix it, and I will just have to add that to my bill to work it off.. God love my parents.. I love them dearly.
Now I dont know if it is the cold snap of winter of perhaps my hormones, but i have had this shit headache all day long, and after taking 2 lots of soluble panadol, which didnt work, so I went to buy some soluble panadine rapid.. I have just taken 2, and hope it works.. Trying to serve customers with the headache squint on my eyes, isnt a good look..

On a happier note, I went shopping yesterday, CLOTHES shopping... Oh how exciting.. and it was by accident that I walked by Crossroads (ladies wear shop) and saw that they had a 50% of everything storewide sale... How could I not go in?? and I had my birthday money with me, and it has been burning a hole in my pocket since I got it.. It has been years since I was able to fit into anything from Crossroads.. So I dragged mum in there, and we both came out grinning and carrying bags.. However, it was still lingering in my mind that there were a few pieces that I put back on the rack, that I wanted, so I arranged with Wendy (pictured in previous post) and we dropped out boys off to football training and went to the shops.. Crossroads, here we come. I came out with yet another bag of goodies, and a big smile on my face, not being able to believe that I now had another shop that I could shop in for clothes.. After my mammoth work weekend ahead, I will take some piccies of me in my new threads for you to see.. But it doesnt end there, because when i went over to the shopping centre where my fill clinic is, today. I saw that Autograph (plus sized ladies wear) was also have the same 50%off store wide sale.. So I just had to get myself a few more pieces.. I guess after so long of buying something just because it fit, I took advantage of getting to pick and choose what I liked. And I was no longer the biggest size in the shop.
Oh, back to the restriction part, the pie oven is now safe.. I no longer feel like eating everything in it. I just hope it stays that way.
xx Nene

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


My friend Wendy and I.. About to indulge in our Toblerone Cocktails.. Hate the haircut, and refuse to post any of these pics on my facebook, but since I share all the nitty gritty with you girls, I'll let you see..
Me again.. Testing out how my self portrait shots look with my new haircut.. YUK, not liking it.. It's amazing how a hair cut can add kg's/lb's to a face.. Not Happy At All!!!

The Famous TOBLERONE... Hmmmm Yum!!!

Me and Hubby outisde the casino, we didnt win, but we're kid free.. So we're smiling.. I might add, this was our first night out together since before our daughter was born.. She will be 4 in September..

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


So, I had my birthday week end, and survived it, and am now here to tell you the story of how it all went down..

Last week in the beginning of the week, I declared that it would be my birthday week.. You only turn 30 once, so why should there be only a day of it?? Then the very next day, I came down with a tummy bug..this lasted right up until Thursday when I had a terrible chunder episode at work again.. only this time it wasnt a PB, it was a sick vomit.. (sorry guys).. After that, I felt kind of back to normal, and all ready to celebrate.. Hubby had the friday (my birthday) off work, but unfortunately I had to work.. So I got up, got ready for work and went in, as hubby got the kids ready for school and daycare, cleaned the house, gave them breaky, and went in to Uni for the day..From work, I went straight to the hairdressers for my appointment at 3pm.. I needed a serious colouring and cut.. I guess as it was my birthday, a few more greys had reared their ugly heads for the occasion.. As I sat relaxing in the salon.. I was looking forward to the night ahead..

I got out of the salon at 5:30 pm, and made the dash home as my friend Wendy was arriving at 6:30pm, I still had to get showered, make up'd and kids ready to go to nan and pops for the night.. oh and not to forget..get my drink on..

Now hubby had pulled out all stops all day long.. Not only had he got the kids up and off to school, but he had also had them showered and ready for nan and pops too. I ended up saying later on that I felt like I had lived a day in the life of a man.. I got up, went to work, stopped for a bit of pampering (but blokes stop at the pub), then came home and kids have been bathed, and get my drink on... now that is a typical blokey day.. lol..

now before I continue, I will mention that I HATE MY NEW HAIRCUT.. it actually makes me look like I have gained weight... it is supposed to be the concave style bob, longer at the front, and shorter at the back, and although the back is lovely, and a good length, I think the front is about an inch too short.. Now I need to source out some extentions to fix it.. I've looked at all the pics taken of my birthday week end, and there isnt a single one that I like.

Anyway, on the friday night, Wendy and I got to drinking, my parents picked up the kids, and took them safely away.. LOL.. We had a few or maybe more drinking, then hubby drove us into the city to go to the Casino.. that place is so over rated.. I cant believe just how much drinks cost these days.. We put a few dollars in the Pokie Machines, and of course won nothing.. So we decided after a couple of hours to move on to a nightclub that I used to frequent alot before settling down.. And hubby's friend is actually a dj there.. they play all the music tht I love R&B, Reggae.. etc.. So we finally find a park near the club, and have to walk up a mammoth hill to get there, meanwhile my bladder is at breaking point, but funnily enough, I am not puffed or exhausted from the hill. My mind is set on the toilet.. We get in the club after showing our id's (what a joke).. and I run for the loo.. I come out, hearing the music pumping, with excitement, I expect to start boogying, only to find that our DJ friends arent on tonight and there are 4 women dancing on a very empty dancefloor.. It's bloody midnight at thie time, there should have been a few more than that.. So we sat for a drink. and I had another 2 or 3 urnination breaks. Then we decided to come back to our home town and go to the local nightclub here. It cost $10 to get in which is usually only $5, and there weren't a whole lot more people in there than the club before.. I dont know where everyone was... Had a dance to a song or two, then a drink, then of course another bathroom break. Then I wanted to go home, knowing that we were in for another night the next...
On the way home though, Wendy asked my hubby to drive through the 24 hour Mcdonalds.. And up untill that point, I had never cared too much that I couldnt eat burgers from there Wendy ordered a DOUBLE QUARTER POUNDER MEAL... I ordered some fries.. and shared them with hubby.. we got home and Wendy was tucking into the burger. I have never found it so hard to watch someone eat something before.. It was so unfair.. BUT at least i wouldnt PB or have guilt..

OH, before I go on, i will also mention for Nola,I didn't get unfilled for my birthday.. As I said earlier in the post, I had a tummy bug on the day that i was to go in to see the doc, but felt like crap, and didnt want to poked or prodded at.. so I postponed my appointment till this week, and I am glad I did. As it was, I didnt eat a whole lot over the whole week end, so it would have been a waste of unfill.. I was too busy drinking and even have any of the nibbles food at my party on the saturday night.. I was also too tired and a lil hung over on the saturday to eat..
So I was hoping that I would actually lose weight over the week end.. Hah, but that was untill on the Saturday night party at my house.. Wendy bought all the indredients to make TOBLERONE COCKTAILS... now, I have never in my life tasted a cocktail, that was of course up untill that point. I have never tasted anything so yum in my life.. For those of you who have never indulged in one.. It is a chocolatey hazelnutty coffee tasting icy slushy kind of treat.. you can alter how much of each flavour you have in it, as I am not a coffee drinker, BUT, it was magic.

I had a few old friends (Kelly, in one of my previous posted pics) over for my party, and my parents, sister and her kids and partner, also Wendy and her kids... There was alot of talk of the old days when kelly and I used to misbehave, and alot of laughs.. It wasnt a huge or fancy party, but it was nice.. comfortable.. however, i hate every pic that was taken that night because of my rotten hair cut.. But I will post a few up for you to see.. later this afternoon..
All in all, I had a fantastic week end, but now I need to get serious about the weightloss, and healthy eating.. I want to lose another 20kg by Christmas..
xx Nene

Monday, June 1, 2009

A WEEK OF PB's not for the weak

I just dont know whats going on with this band this week.. I have had a couple of very awkward PB episodes of late.. And Nola's blog reminded me that I should share the goriness with you all.
I was at work at the shop, and had my nan with me, she was bagging lollies (which I should have been doing), but instead I made lunch for us.. (the shop has a handy lil kitchen out the back) So I grilled up a chicken thigh fillet each for us, and a lovely big serve of my FAVOURITE salad on our plates.. I was mumbling on about how much of the salad I could eat, and that it really chews up to nothing, and that if I didnt put the crunchy noodles in it, I would probably have problems, because the noodles remind me to chew chew chew... Blah blah blah... So half way through our meal, I get that all too familiar feeling, the tightness, the sweats, the panic, my arms go straight up in the air, and my nan looks at me like I have lost the plot. I stand up and start pacing back and forth behind the counter, and back through the kitchen... This time I know for sure that the food is gonna come back up... Then, it happened... Ding fuckin dong goes the shops entry bell, a customer comes in... I have no choice but to suck it up and serve.. luckily the guy just wanted his smokes and left... I then raced out back again leaning over a bucket (one that used to be filled with organic yogurt) and started dry reaching.. this mongrel bit of food was really stuck, coz the more I retched the more it seemed to lodge itself.. Nan was saying that I should try drinking something.. I said in between gassy burps that it might make it worse..I was sliming majorly by now, and then ringa-ding-dong, another customer.. DAMMIT!!! The guy wanted a pie... (not so bad, at least that's one less in the oven to temp me later)... I said goodbye with a massive hiccup, he could sense I wasnt feeling real good, maybe the hiccup confirmed in his mind that I was drinking alcoholic beverages out back.. Oh, but that was not the case..
Once again, I leant over the bucket and finaly, some slimey sloppy action... instant relief.. I wiped the tears from my eyes, washed my mouth out, and came back to sit with nan.. Who kindly offered to finish my chicken if I didnt want it.. LOL... why the hell would I want it??? But more to the point, why the hell would she want it?? I had just chucked my guts up, and she still wants to eat... Let me just say.. My nan loves her tucker...Needless to say, I am now very careful when I eat at work..

This week end, after getting up at 4:30am to go and open the shop, I wasnt feeling much like making anything for lunch when I finished work at 12.. So when I got home, we jumped back in the car, and headed out to get pizza and find somewhere nice to sit..Got the pizza on a "classic crust"... not too thick, not too thin... and found a nice spot in the sun at the beach. I got through the first piece, chewing carefully, and started on the second... and here it goes again.. the pain, the look of food making me feel even sicker.. then just when I go to get up to have a yak, it clears... Thank god for that..
The following day (sunday) another lazy day for Nene, we got fish and chips and took it to the beach for a picnic.. Ayisha loves the whole blanket on the ground style of eating.. and before I go on, I know my week end eating plan has been well and truely up to shit.. but... so what?? It's my birthday week.. LOL... We sit, and I break of some fish from a big piece of flake.. Have no problem with it, then a few chips, no problems... Then I break another piece of fish and top it with some coleslaw, down it goes, then... the almighty pain that is dictating my fucking eating habits... Hubby asks me to pur him a drink, which I usually would do as soon as the words were out of his mouth, but I just passed him the bag with the plastic cups and bottle of drink in it, and got up and took off for privacy behind my car. Montel and hubby look on in concern, and Ayisha is right up behind me, laughing all the way because it's mummys turn to vomit.. (she was sick a few days ago, and i was holding the bowl for her) I am hunched over, waiting for this inevitable event to be over, then a car comes down the hill into the area where we are, so I stand and lean over the back of my car, hiding my face... the car is gone, then 1,2,3 heave... out it comes.. I am motioning for Ayisha to get away, waving my arms at her.. but she just stands back, making yukky faces at the goop i just spat at the ground, and the strings of slime still hanging from my mouth.. Montel comes and pats me on the back, and asks if he can have a look too...
Please tell me, What is so amusing about vomit, poo, snot, wee, farts and all things horrible to kids??? After composing myself, and gathering up our picnic, we were in the car, I said to hubby that perhaps it was my body's way of saying "Stop eating SHIT FOOD!"

So, this friday will be my 30th birthday, and I had a goal to be down to 120kg by then... to be honest, I dont think that I will be.. but.. with all the crap I have been eating, I know why.. I have got a fill appointment on wednesday, and am considering having my fill taken out for the week end, just so I can go rank.. but ... i really dont want to undo what I have acheived so far, so I might just go for the check up and weigh in, and leave my fill as it is.. as it is, I think the alchol binging will do enough damage.. I just know I wont be eating scones as hangover food..
xx Nene