Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Hello All

Still not a whole lot to report. Checked the scales this morning.. and they read 119.6kg , which means that in the fortnight since my last visit to the doc, I havent lost anything.. and have infact gained .3kg.. I cant friggen win.. But I am the first to admit, that my eating habbits have been up to shit again.. And alot of that falls under the excuse of lack of time to prepare anything healthy and hearty..Chocolate has become a good (poisonous) friend of mine, and I plan to get rid of it's influence and slack friendship.. Why oh why do the schools and daycares want us parents to sell friggen fundraiser chocolates for them???? How about we just call them Weightraiser Chocolates.. Sooo, out of a box of 48 chocolates, we have sold 22 of them.. and guess who the buyer has been??? (raises hand)... ME!!! I am a self sabotager... my goodness gracious me... I somehow need to learn to deal with this head hunger... I know that is 75% of my problem now..
I also realise that when I eat or prepare my plate or bowl, I serve myself a bigger portion that i need or can fit in, just to see how much I can get in... STUPID STUPID STUPID... I am constantly testing my limits.. I am writting all this down, so I can out myself to you all, and you can all kick my ass... PLEASE!!!!
I have however in the last morning or 2 began to serve myself up a smaller bowl of cereal than usual and I find that I am satisfied at the end of it... So I have been eating the bigger portions just because they are there and I want it finished... Yup, thats me, Dumb asss.....
Also lately I have lost the feeling of having lost any weight at all.. I have been very self concious when dressing for the day... very critical of myself.. Its almost like I expect my weight to continue to rise the way it used to.. I know it wont, because I now have the band, and all you bloggers to support me.. I get more support from you all than any one around me.. Why? Because you all can relate to the ups and downs of being banded.. I luv you all girls..
Now for those of you that arent on my facebook, I will add some OLD pics of myself...all different sizes.. and hair colours... lol ohh and the bad dress senses... have a good giggle..
xx Nene

2 comments:

  1. I totally get your head hunger Nene... I am putting HUGE portions on my plate... and when I use my lapband plate... I CRAM all my food on it... somehow my brain tries to trick me into believing that as long as the food doesn't actually jump off the plate... it fits... and it's a lapband portion.

    I have also been eating soooo much shit lately... fucking nuts, chocolate, chips... just slipping into old shitty habits.

    I have been pretty good this week though... busting my ass to lose this next 10kg... AGHHH!!!

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  2. Peaches, a box of chocolate candy bars in the damn house! I would succumb to that horribleness also! I just cant have it around me.

    I understand what you are saying about not feeling like you have lost any weight at all. When my weight loss stalls or I gain a few I suddenly feel super fat again and forget what it felt like when I reached that new lowest weight. Like if I finally get to 242lbs. I feel all good and sexy. Then I lose a few more pounds but go back up to 242 the next week, suddenly I feel like a whale...even though when I got to 242 the first time I felt hot.

    We are a mess.

    Add me on facebook please :) Amy Workman Pensacola, FL.

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