Tuesday, September 29, 2009

New Realizations.

Well in the last few days I have dicovered with happiness a couple of things.. #1 being that when I revceived my dress from www.swakdesigns.com a sz 2xl, it is in fact too big.. I will however make do with it, as I just LUV LUV LUV it... I want to order the teal coloured one, but am thinking that the 1xl will be too big too... Hmm, what to do, what to do??? I'm not real familiar with the sizing between here and the US...

#2.. I can fit in my bath tub... I mean actually lay back and enjoy a good old theraputic soak.. I havent been able to do that for years. (mine is not one of those fancy big bath tubs either).. I have always in the past headed straight for a nice hot bath when I have had a headache, menstral cramps, cold/flu, or any sickness or stress at all.. I find that the water is so theraputic, and now that I am able to do it again, it is wonderful.. I had 3 hot baths in a day because I had my tooth pulled out, and just felt like crapola.. so a dip in the bath was all it took to prep me up for a bit..

I am finding that with this 2ml restriction, I am extremely tight in the morning, I really cant have a whole lot more than a cup of tea and a few mouthfulls of porridge. Where as later in the day, I am able to eat a meal (restricted size of course) without any problems.. So this is fine with me.. I have lost 1kg since getting my refill last monday, I just hope that this is on the downward slope again, and doesnt float back up like it has been doing for the last few weeks. Soo this morning I weighed 115.2kg.. lets just see what tomorrow brings..

As mentioned before, I had a tooth taken out yesterday, Oh how I hate the dentist.. But it was neccesarry for the sake of my eating (chew chew chew) but it seems, as soon as I know that I CANT eat, that is when I want EVERYTHING i can get down my throat and through my band... So I went and got a paddle pop ice cream.. Remember, I cant really eat breakfast, and had my tooth extracted at 10:45am. So by the time I got home it was close to lunch time, and as numb as I was, I was ready to tackle a big beefy burger.. lol.. but a paddle pop it was..then I had to come to work, still semi numb, but as time went on, the numbness wore off and I was struck down with some throbbing pain.. And it seemed that every fricken customer thought it would be a good day to have a long drawn out conversation.. Grrr...I ended up politely excusing myself explaining I had had a tooth out.. I sipped on slush puppys for the rest of the afternoon shift, which I found were pleasantly filling too..

Oh, and on Saturday when I finished work, hubby, the kids and myself went over to the southside (Yeronga) and went to an African Cultural Festival.. It was nice and very loud.. But after standing for a few hours in the hot sun, I had had enough and it was time to come home.. But whilst there I had some of the best belly laughs that I have had in a long time.. Montel and I were watching the " aussies/whites" trying to immitate the african lady's dance moves (onstage), we could barely catch our breath at some of the funny moves that people were pulling.. But it was good to see that everyone was having a great time.. I wish I had the confidence to have done that....
Well i best be ending here, the shop is getting a little busy... bloody pie hunters...
xx Nene

PB??? ANYONE EVER FELT LIKE THIS???

The look on this cute kittys face says it all, even though it seems that he has just had a huge feed, I tend to feel like and look like this (the eyes) after a PB.. This pic was sent to me in facebook by Shaggs, I just had to share it with you all... soo cute.
xx Nene

Friday, September 25, 2009

THE FOG HAS LIFTED ( oh and the dust too)


Well I dont quite know when it exactly happened, but it did, and now I am starting to feel a little more on the normal side of emotions.. I am beginning to wonder if these bouts of depression have something to do with my cycle (lady stuff).. Who knows.. But I intend to go and see someone and get it sorted..

I now have more energy, and am not sooo tired too, which has been a bonus considering that in the last 2 nights, I have had 3 different kids sleep over...So my one day off for the week has been filled with feeding, washing, drying, cleaning entertaining, mediating an whatever else... a bunch of 9 year olds and a lil miss diva 4 year old (Ayisha)...

However, in that time, I managed to drag my 2 and montels friend off to the shops with every intention of getting montel a new pair of High Top shoes, they didnt have his size, so onwards we went to Best & Less, I was actually browsing through the womens wear, but some cute bright coloured underwear caught my eye.. Oh and lo and behold.. they just happened to be in fuller figured sizes.. woohoo... So as you will see pictured above is my new underwear... the whole lot came to around $48.. I was quite pleased with that, and the fact that I now have some pretty new knickers.. Ones that I dont have to get mixed up with the camping equipment.. No tent pegs needed.. lol..
Well right now, I should be getting ready to take my sons friend home so I can get to work. Another day, another 50 million friggen pies sold.. Not sure if I mentioned, but our shop had an article in the local paper about 2 weeks ago, about our pies and mushy peas... It has been like grand central station ever since.. I'm just glad that I physically cant eat them anymore, or I would still be eating away the proffits..
Love Ya All
xx Nene
P.S. Thanks girls for the heartfelt messages on my previous post.. It meant alot, and also made me realise a few things. You are all truely very special to me.. thanks again..xx

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

BRAIN FART BENDER (miserable blog)

I dont know what it is with me lately.. I cant seem to drag myself out of this emotional slump.. some call it depression, but when I think "depression", I picture a jobless, stinking tv watching slob, sitting down scoffing high fat, high sugar stuff.. chain smoking ciggarettes and so forth... Thats not me... BUT, I do feel like sleeping alot, even to the point of not wanting to get out of bed in the mornings.. Usually, I am up and into it and getting ready for my day, but i seem to be dragging myself out and sitting on the couch for half hour before even attempting to fix myself up for work.. I lose my tempter a little too easily at my kids, or sometimes go the other way and just let them have their way for the sake of peace and quiet for my sanity..To be honest, I wish I could dissapear (not a suicidal way) but just escape and not have to deal with general everyday life for a while. I said this to my mum, and she told me that at age 30 she went through a similar train of thought, and it should pass.. But she also said "you're losing weight, looking good, getting a new car, things are good for you, so try to cheer up"... Yeah if only it was that easy.. material things are unimportant to me.. if someone said I'll give you $50,000 to cheer the hell up, I simply couldnt.. Although I wish I could. I do know that this emotional brain fart will pass, as I have had them before, but I just wish I didnt get them of ever feel this way.. My son was laughing and telling me a story the other morning, and I looked at his beautiful smile, and wished that I could share in his excitement.. At times like this, i think my kids deserve a better mother..
Emotionally, my hubby isnt there for me, so I guess this is my way of venting to you guys.. please dont think me strange..

As for my band.. after I was unfilled and down to only 1ml restriction, I went hell for leather on the week end for food.. I was able to eat so much more, and at the time it was good, however, afterwards I felt like crap.. it's amazing how much more in tune you are with your body after not being able to stuff it with crap after all this time.. I was happy to get my fill again yesterday and am now back up to 2mls.. I do think that i may need a tiny tiny bit taken out.. it still is kind of hard to eat. When will I ever find my "happy medium" (I dont mean Shaggs, lol, I mean my sweet spot)..
Well I'm not a whole bundle of excitement with this post, so I'll end here for now..
xx Nene

Friday, September 18, 2009

MORE PICS

My handi-work.. the fairy cakes I made for my baby girls birthday..



At her Sizzler birthday lunch..


In another of my new wardrobe additions, very similar to the other one I had on in the other pic.... Why?? Because I bought one in every colour they had.. lol.. Got the blue one on in my lunch pic above..



BAND DRAMAS

I havent posted for a while as you would have noticed, and at least I have some things to tell you all.. Over the last week, I have been in a world of discomfort and not been able to even eat half a small tub of kfc gravy (example) without being extremely full and in quite a bit of pain and discomfort.. I started to get worried that it could be a real sinister problem with the band, as the pains were where the band is located, but really like nothing I have experienced with the band yet. Even to drink was causing some deal of discomfort, and all I could think was perhaps I had a dialated esophogus (however its spelled), and my band was corroding, or worst that I would need my band removed/replaced.. Soo, I made an appointment with my band doctor, and even she was a little worried.. So she asked me if anything had gotten stuck recently, and I explained that a few days earleir I had a small episode at a restaurant and then the discomfort started the next day... Sooo, she took 1ml of my fill out of the band and said that I have have caused inflamation from the stuckage and to get back to her on friday (today) to let her know how I am going.. If it was no better, I will have to go for a barium swallow.
Sooo, over the next few hours, the discomfort subsided, and I was actually able to eat something.. I had even been getting dizzy and extremely tired due to lack of food.. and didnt even want to talk due to the discomfort, it was like someone giving my esophogus a chinese burn..(sort of)
But another of my conerns was that I was sailing along losing weight very well, and then all of a sudden when I was unable to eat a pinch of crap, my weight went up by 1.5kgs.. WTF was with that?? So, now I am doing good again, I will go back in on monday to be filled back to where I was.. Now that the inflamation would have gone down..
I will say that in this last day of "being able to eat without much abandon" has been fun, but a little too dangerous for my likings.. I took Ayisha to Sizzler (smorgasboard restaurant) yesterday for her birthday and was able to eat a whole bread and butter sized plate of food.. It was good, but I felt guilt afterwards.. Not that I had lots of bad stuff though, just the portion hat I was able to eat.. But knowing this at 1ml restriction, has made me a bit more relieved at the fact that I probably wouldnt have to get my whole fill taken out if we were to travel back to Ghana (Africa).. I definately wouldnt was much restriction over there, as I wouldnt want complications in a developing country and their bread and alot of their foods are sooo yummy that I would want to have some of everything.. lol .. bad I know.. Some habbits never die..
Soo, with little restriction, and a week end ahead of me, I am going to do my best and be a good girl (foodwise)... but it is a little tempting to tuck into some of the things that I havent been able to handle.. Will see how I go..
xx Nene

Monday, September 7, 2009

PRAISE BE TO MY BAND

Well today I am feeling kind of good about myself, even though its TTOTM.. I am actually doing double takes of my reflection lately.. After spending so long avoiding my reflection. And especially after doing my morning ritual of getting on the scales after my first morning pee, I was loving myself sick.. lol.. had to say it.. feels kind of good after spending so long being so disgused with myself.. the scales read 115.4kg... (a loss of 31.2kgs).. My new mini goal is to get a spray tan when I get to 110kgs..
I was out the other day and realised that I dont have a swimsuit to fit me when it heats up enough to go in the pool.. The one I used to wear would be far too big, and is long gone anyway, so whilst in Best and Less I spotted a hot little number.. and snapped it up for $32.. and its a sz18.. the 20 fit me perfect and the 18 is ok, but by the time it is warm enough, the 18 will be perfect, and hopefully even a lil big on me. I dont think I have enjoyed shopping this much since I was pregnant with my daughter. Back then there was always something to buy, just coz it was pretty... and now there is always something to buy, coz there are more shops that I can buy from, and because I am always looking for a fresh new look or something to "show" the fact that I have lost weight..
I have also thought of a way to celebrate my 1 year bandiversary... I want to go to Malaysia for a weeks holiday, and have found some good deals on zuji.com.au, whilst there, hubby and I can reminice on when we met ( and where our son was conceived)... and I of course can go do some serious shopping... ohh lordy, how this band will cost me in the long run...
I went to the gym this morning, after having not been for over a week, and was pleasantly surprised at how much I was able to do before getting tired.. even my heart rate didnt go berko.. Just another good sign of things to come..
xx Nene

Saturday, September 5, 2009

THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY OF SHOPPING


I have been on ebay for the last few weeks looking for something nice to wear.. and have been very unsuccessfull in my search... However I found a site called http://www.swakdesigns.com/ and have found a dress that I love.. I just bought it online, and even better is the fact that this week end they have a 30% sale for Labor Day... Woohoo, what better time to buy... it certainly helped me make my decission a lot faster.. So the dress was originally $65 AUD and I got it for $45.60 or something like that.. and free post...Gotta love it..So you will see the dress I am expecting, pictured at the top of this post.. I still cant figure out how to insert pics randomly on this silly site..
I dont have a whole lot else to post about at the moment, I am extremely tired with 2 sick kids at home.. I am getting a little frustrated with the frequency in which my kids keep getting sick..I was in the middle of Woolworths (supermarket) yesterday and had Ayisha in the trolley, she went all glassy eyed, and threw up everywhere.. It was highly embarrasing, as I was trying to catch the vomit in my hands as not to have it all over the floors and her... it didnt make a whole lot of difference anyway, so I told Montel to go and get a box of tissues so I could try to clean things up.. Its amazing how many people stand and stare in disgust.. Its not like I made her do it.. The poor child was sick.. and then you might think... why take her out if she is sick... Well she certainly hadnt thrown up prior to this.. Just a general sniffle and cough..
Montel was cringing and trying to get me the tissues as fast as he could but was so embarrased because a girl from his class at school was staring as all of this was happening.. I felt bad for Ayisha, I felt bad for Montel, and by the time I got my groceries paid for I felt bad for myself.. I wanted to go home and hide away...Oh the joys of motherhood..
So throughout the night, Montel's cough has gotten progressively worse, and Ayisha's temp has been up and down, Hubby went and filled a script of anti-biotics and they had their first dose late lastnight.. I only hope this works..
And I am sitting here at work, had to open the shop at 6am, was here at 5:30am to set up, and have had probably a total of 3 hours sleep though the night and about the same the night before..
I know that when I finish at lunch time I will go home and have a nanny nap.. God knows I need it..but then thats of course if the kids will have a nap too and hubbys snoring doesnt keep me awake..aarrgghhh
Have a good week end...
xx Nene

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

HISTORY IN PICS

I was just playing on blibs.com and made a lil collage of myself.. thought I'd share it with you all.
xx Nene

ME 30kgs DOWN

Getting my inspiration from Shaggs "uniform" and Amy's sexy rockshow pics.. I decided to pose for my 30kg down shot in the same "black top and jeans". So here I am..this morning before work. I got my son to do the photography.. coz I'm not so good at setting the camera up for self portrait shots. Today is the first day I have been able to fit into these jeans.. And I love them.. gone are my everyday black pants...

I can see from this shot that I need to concentrate on toning my arms at the gym.. I have been bad and not been for a week.. to much emotional exhaustion though.. I gotta get back into it..
xx Nene