Wednesday, October 28, 2009

FEELING A BIT P-COCKY




Hello my lovelies... I put on one of my new dress this morning and thought I would share.. Still not sure bout the peacock print, but I love the colours in it.. I have already had a few compliments, so i guess it couldnt be too bad..
xx Nene
Oh and thanks Amy and Shaggs for your comments.. xxxxx

Monday, October 26, 2009

WHAT THE?????

Is my comments system not working?? Or.... none of you could be bothered letting me know your thoughts??? hmmmm..

Anyway, today i was bad and had a Spicy Wicked Wing from KFC... tasted so good and spicy going down... but ohhh lordy, it was even spicier coming back up... not fun.. However I am finding that I am finding it alot easier to get rid of any discomforts now (have a good ol PB).. I used to dread the thought of throwing up.. but now if it means it's gonna make me feel a lil more comfortable, then off I go to the bathroom or somewhere as discreet as possible... So, I have a question... What is the worst thing that you have PB'd on or has gotten stuck??

Weighed in at 113.2kg this morning..(still have that daily weighing addiction) I hope to wake to find that i am in the 112's tomorrow.. ggrrrrr quite possibly it will go up.. it's like a freakin see-saw
Anyway, drop me a line girls!!!! Even those of you who never have..introduce yourself :)

♥ Nene xx

Friday, October 23, 2009

HI ALL

I am pretty sure that my goal of being down to 100kg for christmas has jumped right on out the window. In the last 10 days, I have managed to put on .2kg... Why is it, we get a lil losing streak then it just freakin stalls like a car with a flat battery..I dont believe that my restriction is all wrong. I still have the occassional PB, and if I try to eat toast or anything heavy for breakfast, it will deffinately give me some pain and a hard time.. then I dont really eat a whole lot till lunch or in between meals, and I also dont think that my portions are any bigger than my 4 year old daughters.. I know exercise would help me along, and I am paying for my membership at the gym, and not using it.. bad bad bad.. but the problem is finding the time to go.. By the time hubby gets home from work, the gym is just about closing for the day, and when he leaves for work, the gym is opening for the day. (he does long hours).. then when he gets a day off, I am working. My parents cant really look after the kids while I go, because they are working in the shop when I am not there... Aarrrgghhh... I really need to fine tune some "me time".

Is it only me or do those of you who go on lapbandtalk.com really struggle to understand why some women who are actually no even mildly overweight, get a band... I do enjoy looking at peoples progress pics, and then when I see a lovely after pic, I scroll back through and realise that there isnt a whole lot of difference from their pre-banding pic.. hmmm... I guess its not fair for me to judge, as I am only too aware of the emotional feelings of being overweight.. all I can say is IF ONLY I had their weight problem in the first place..
Right now my sister is starting on optifast diet, to try to shed some kgs.. I think she weighs about 120ish kgs, and is feeling a bit down for it.. You see I have always been bigger than her.. and since she had her baby a week before I was banded, she has been piling on the kgs.. I so understand how that is, especially after pregnancy. So busy with baby, you dont concentrate on yourself any more. Anyway, I keep telling her that I understand how hard it is, because I really do.. but she keeps mentioning the fact that I have the band so it shouldnt be hard anymore.. and then I get to thinking... Well ok, I dont have to constantly fight with a stupid non existant hunger all the time, and I dont have to eat a mack truck load of food to feel so stuffed that I might puke, BUT there certainly are a whole lot of foods that are "easier" to eat when you have a band.. the easier foods seem to be the wrong foods, and those are the times that it gets hard..
I was in an eatery yesterday and was looking for something to have for lunch... everything seemed to have PB facter written all over it, so I was bad and went to KFC and got a small chips and gravy.. Not the healthiest choice I know, but a good example.. and then I get to feeling bad that I filled my precious lil pouch on fatty nutrition-less crap.. Maybe next tiem I will pack a lunch when going to that place.
Bought another dress yesterday.. I am so loving spring and these maxi dresses.. at least this one being the stlye that it is, it should fit me as I shrink through the next few sizes. When ever that will be.
And as I sit and think about my goal for christmas, I make myself feel better by realising that this isnt a race.. It is about me feeling better about myself and getting healtheir (oh and looking good in clothes, lol)... I know I'll get there, when? who knows... but as long as I stay focused, but also let myself enjoy life too.. I will succeed.
xx Nene

Thursday, October 15, 2009

COMPARISON PICS

I was just flicking though some old pics on a memory stick, and found some that I have never posted.. these pics were taken about a year or 2 before I was banded, and wasn't quite at the heaviest that I got to.. So what I am trying to say is that i got bigger than these pics.. My face looks like a balloon...
I was going to a Store of the Year Ball.. I cant believe I actually thought I looked OK.. I do recall that I weighed 132kg in this pic.. So I had actually gained another 14kg before being banded..

I guess my body is going through the whole "slightly shrinking stage" again. I seem to be getting a lot more compliments lately.. It feels good. I also notice that I am being looked at in a whole different way too.. LOL.. which is really strange to me. But I'll take it and run with it.
I've got today off work, and am thinking that I just may go and do some retail therapy. God knows I need it.. Men... is all I will say... they drive you to need some kind of freakin therapy..point made. However I will say that since losing weight, am kind of getting the confidence to push the bullshit aside and not sweat the rubbish thrown at me. Karma's a bitch.
Have a good day girls.
xx Nene


Tuesday, October 13, 2009

My wish came true overnight..

113.5 this morning... woohoo

Monday, October 12, 2009

RETAIL THERAPY

I went shopping this morning.. it started out as a boredom buster trip.. ended up being a fantastically sucessfull shopping trip.. Usually if I go out and find something I love, I cant afford it, or cant find it in my size.. However, not today, no siree. I walked into BIG W and spotted a dress... a maxi dress.. strappy, flowing... etc etc.. problem was.. it was in the section of "normal sizes".. I scrolled through the sizes on the hangers and came across the largest in the "normal size" range.. a 16.. So I pulled it off the rack and sized it up against me.. and it seemed as though it would fit.. So off I head in the direction of the fitting rooms, and pass by a rack of other tops.. Hmmm nice, I'll take one in each pattern. So I get my goodies to the dressing room, and nervously pull the dress off the hanger and over my head.. and ohh lordy.. I was shocked.. it fit me, it didnt cling, and I didnt look like a lumpy sausage in it.. this ones MINE.. and a huge price difference from alot of the UGLY plus sized dresses.. this was only $39.. the two tops I got were only $15 each, ohhh and then if that wasnt enough already, of I toddle to Best & Less and pick up a pair of... wait for it... Sz 18 shiny black tights.(leggings)... still dont know if they are my thing or not, but at only $10 (half price), I was taking them and runnin'. Then on the way home from that shopping centre, I remembered some little shrug tops at another place closer to home, so full of confidence that I would find something to fit, I pulled in there, and fossicked through the racks and found a what I was after... sz xl in a shop that caters for near infant sizing.. sz 6.. lol..I bought one in a burnt orange and another in a teal green.. V nice.. they were only $10 each too..
You will see the pics below of me in my new dress and lil orange shrug top thingy..

Lastnight when I was taking some towels out of the washing maching, I felt one of my rings slip off and on to the floor. So it is with great sadness that I will have to cease wearing them before I really lose them. I would be gutted.

I weighed myself again this morning.. (becoming a serious addiction, I think) it said 114.1.. I so hope I wake in the morning and it say 113.... something..But then as I type this, I am sitting here eating clinkers chocolate.. So bad. But back to my obsessive weighing.. I really gotta break the habbit.. I weigh myself as soon as I've had my morning pee, then after breakfast, then maybe if I have a bowel movement, I will check to see if it took some of my weight with it.. then again before bed... and I just cant believe how much our weight fluctuates all damn day long. I really need to just weigh myself once a week. Then I wont be a rollercoaster of emotions about it.

Oh well, I best be getting ready for work.. I just might wear my new dress there today..
xx Nene

SIZE 16 DRESS!!!!!

I dont have that natural posing ability.. lol
Size 16, let me just say it again... a size freakin 16!!!!


Friday, October 9, 2009

RANDOM CHATTER

OK, I have been slack, and not been posting again.. I'm actually kind of over the whole blogging thing at the moment.. I guess I am just a lil too busy with work, kids and other things at the moment. Ayisha has been sick once again.. Raising children, certainly isnt glamorous.. (lil germ magnets) I was sitting at the computer lastnight, helping my cousin with his grade 12 assignment, and Ayisha came up to me and said "Mummy, I feel like I'm gonna be bbbrrruuuuggggghhhhhhhh.. ." all over me... and it was more like a fire hydrant force than a lazy flowing throw up.. YUK.. TMI...then from then on, almost every hour, on the hour, she spent the whole night with her face in the bowl (not the toilet bowl, but her own lil sick bowl)... So I had a crap night sleep, and feel shit for it today..

My weight loss is very slow... I weighed in at 114.5kg yesterday... seems I have been see-sawing on the scales, and I am so freakin sick of it.. But deep down, I know that I have myself to blame.. If I can just stop fingering the damn peanut butter jar at every spare hidden moment.. some old habbits never die..and this one pretty much had up untill I had my tooth taken out over a week ago. I was scooping fingerfulls of peanutty goodness into my mouth because I couldnt really eat much in the beginning.. and now the habit is back. Fan farkin tastic... not.

Got my new car.. I love it lots.. for those of you on my facebook, you might have seen it already, for everyone else. I will post a proud pic for you.

Back to the weight issue.. Why is it that if my weight plataues, do I feel like a big ol' swamp donkey all over again?? I really thought that getting my tooth out would have help me lose some more kgs... but as someone said to me... You need to actually eat enough to lose weight too.. Whatever the case may be.. at least it's coming off, and not creeping on.. an so there might be some super amazing eople that begin like me at a mammoth weight, and get to goal within a year, I just have to accept that if I still want to live comfortably and not obsess about every single sip or bite I take, it's just gonna take me a little longer to acheive my goal. And... speaking of goals.. I know that my "ideal" body weight is probably quite a bit less than my "goal" weight.. But I am just aiming to look good in my skin, and I really dont want to go for tummy tucks etc, so I will do the best I can with what I can.. if that makes sense.. and if it means that I end up at 10 or so kgs over my "ideal" body weight, to avoid the "sag", then thats ok by me.

Had a real bad PB the other day.. but I'm getting used to the fact that its just a part of my life now.. lol... a gentle but painfull reminder that whispers to my mind "Put that food down , lard ass, coz it aint doing you any favours".

Thats all from me, till next time..
xx Nene

Friday, October 2, 2009

I'M EXCITED

Just to keep you informed.. I am getting my new car tomorrow.. Well it isnt exactly brand new, but it is new for me.. It was confirmed yesterday that I will be getting it, however, I have to wait till tomorrow to go and pick it up. I really could have gone over after work this afternoon, BUT I dont want to spend the first hours of ownership sitting in heavy traffic. So after work at 12noon tomorrow, I will go and get it.. I wil say this car is gorgeous and stands out a mile.. It is bright in colour.. But will keep the details till I can take some pics for you all to see tomorrow.. I'm now thinking that if I cant afford to go to Malaysia for my 12 month bandiversary.. I just might get me some personalized number plates instead..
Have a good week end everyone..
xx Nene

HELLO LADIES

Took this pic this morning before coming to work..I noticed that I am now getting a more defined chin.. just thought I'd share
xx Nene