Friday, October 23, 2009

HI ALL

I am pretty sure that my goal of being down to 100kg for christmas has jumped right on out the window. In the last 10 days, I have managed to put on .2kg... Why is it, we get a lil losing streak then it just freakin stalls like a car with a flat battery..I dont believe that my restriction is all wrong. I still have the occassional PB, and if I try to eat toast or anything heavy for breakfast, it will deffinately give me some pain and a hard time.. then I dont really eat a whole lot till lunch or in between meals, and I also dont think that my portions are any bigger than my 4 year old daughters.. I know exercise would help me along, and I am paying for my membership at the gym, and not using it.. bad bad bad.. but the problem is finding the time to go.. By the time hubby gets home from work, the gym is just about closing for the day, and when he leaves for work, the gym is opening for the day. (he does long hours).. then when he gets a day off, I am working. My parents cant really look after the kids while I go, because they are working in the shop when I am not there... Aarrrgghhh... I really need to fine tune some "me time".

Is it only me or do those of you who go on lapbandtalk.com really struggle to understand why some women who are actually no even mildly overweight, get a band... I do enjoy looking at peoples progress pics, and then when I see a lovely after pic, I scroll back through and realise that there isnt a whole lot of difference from their pre-banding pic.. hmmm... I guess its not fair for me to judge, as I am only too aware of the emotional feelings of being overweight.. all I can say is IF ONLY I had their weight problem in the first place..
Right now my sister is starting on optifast diet, to try to shed some kgs.. I think she weighs about 120ish kgs, and is feeling a bit down for it.. You see I have always been bigger than her.. and since she had her baby a week before I was banded, she has been piling on the kgs.. I so understand how that is, especially after pregnancy. So busy with baby, you dont concentrate on yourself any more. Anyway, I keep telling her that I understand how hard it is, because I really do.. but she keeps mentioning the fact that I have the band so it shouldnt be hard anymore.. and then I get to thinking... Well ok, I dont have to constantly fight with a stupid non existant hunger all the time, and I dont have to eat a mack truck load of food to feel so stuffed that I might puke, BUT there certainly are a whole lot of foods that are "easier" to eat when you have a band.. the easier foods seem to be the wrong foods, and those are the times that it gets hard..
I was in an eatery yesterday and was looking for something to have for lunch... everything seemed to have PB facter written all over it, so I was bad and went to KFC and got a small chips and gravy.. Not the healthiest choice I know, but a good example.. and then I get to feeling bad that I filled my precious lil pouch on fatty nutrition-less crap.. Maybe next tiem I will pack a lunch when going to that place.
Bought another dress yesterday.. I am so loving spring and these maxi dresses.. at least this one being the stlye that it is, it should fit me as I shrink through the next few sizes. When ever that will be.
And as I sit and think about my goal for christmas, I make myself feel better by realising that this isnt a race.. It is about me feeling better about myself and getting healtheir (oh and looking good in clothes, lol)... I know I'll get there, when? who knows... but as long as I stay focused, but also let myself enjoy life too.. I will succeed.
xx Nene

1 comment:

  1. OMG!!! Chips and mash potato - I cant eat them (boo hoo) I get royally stuck on mashed potato and chips - I cringe at the thought! If you have a franchise called Salsa there try one of their chicken burritos. Pull it apart and eat it bit by bit and it goes down excellently and is pretty good all things considered (we didnt have it Sydney and its one of my best VIC finds) also - mission wrap/tortilla bread things seem to help EVERYTHING go down I dont know how but man it helps with some chicken and avocado they're the best. I am sick of people scoffing all the food and then picking at mine cause I'm a slow eater now. I wouldnt even try to share a meal anymore I'd starve to death. And then everyone wants to leave and you're still eating. We are lucky to have a band BUT it is sometimes just a different variety of problems and does still require restraint and some suffering anyone who thinks our problems are all solved are so wrong but I do understand your sister's postition far out I never want to be back there again. And please dont beat yourself up over 200 grams (thats the difference between a big poo and a small poo) so let it go you're doing awesome!

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