I have just come to the realisation that after a month of tooing and fro'ing on the scales, it has taken me a whole month to lose 1 kg..So I guess it's time to tighten up.. But not before christmas. The surgeon told my sister that if you aren't losing 2kg per month, the band isnt tight enough.. or something along those lines anyway.. I guess, as I have said before, it would shift a lil quicker if I motivated myself and moved my ass a little in the exercise department.
I read Amy's blog this morning and was inspired to address the same subject on my blog today. It's all about habbits and secret self sabotage , pre band.. Like Amy, I too used to drive from Take Away joint to another.. I would stop at Mcdonalds because the kids wanted a happy meal.. There I would get them what they wanted, and get myself a quarter pounder meal, scoff it down before passing the KFC on the way home, and pull in to buy a Twister meal ( foolishly lying to myself that it was the healthy option because it had lettuce and tomato in a wrap) I would then arrive home and sit to eat that second meal with hubby, as if the Mcdonalds one never existed.. Or Subway, once one of my biggest addictions.. When I told my surgeon on my first appointment that I could eat 2 x 12 inch subs he was amazed.. Yes, I would order 2 identicle footlong subs, but then ask for different sauce on one of them to act like one of them was for someone else. I would pull over on the way home and scoff one down before reaching home to sit with the family for our Subway meal. My husband never realised just how much I was eating.. I hid so many pig outs from him. So he thought my weight gain was just from not exercising..
I'm not sure if i have mentioned in my blog about the time that I woke in the night to go and pee (being so overweight meant frequent nightly visits to the toilet), but I was halfway off the bed and collapsed, unable to move because my sciatica (back pain) was ceased. I was in excruciating pain, and was desperate to go to the toilet. The only thing to do was for my husband to call my mum, and then she called the ambulance.. Well once the ambulance arrived, they gave me some pain relief and tried to move me.. with no success, they called for the fire brigade to help them lift me.. I mean I wasnt even at my heaviest by this stage (maybe about 130kgs).. I was mortified that the fire brigade arrived with their lights flashing in the middle of the night, all my neighbors were out front, thinking that there had been some serious problem at my house, only for them to see me being carried out on a stretcher by 6 fucking unfit weakling men.. Hey, I respect the services, but for it to take 6 big men in their line of work to carry me out, is pathetic, and Oh so humiliating.
I was then transported to the hospital, put in a bed in emergency ward, and still busting so badly to pee. I told the nurses that I needed to, and nothing was done.. The later on, mum called to check on me, and asked if i had been able to releive myself, the bitch nurse had the hide to say to my mum that I am too big to be rolled over and put a bedpan under me.. My mum exploded and told her she would take it much further if I wasnt dealth with.
To cut a long story short, I was eventually able to wee, and discharged from hospital in the morning. I found a fantastic physiotherapist, who got me out of pain, and I have never looked back.. Apart from the mortifying turn of events that it took to get me to the hospital. Thats one of my stories from being stupidly overweight. Thankfully the night time pee breaks have stopped.
I am also now trying to work on the confidence thing, so that instead of when someone says "Hey Jennene, you look really good" , I usually say something like "I still got a long way to go"... now I just say "Thank you" .. and take the compliment for what it was. I mean, I know that I still do have a long way to go, but I dont need to highlight the fact, and should just feel good that the person noticed my progress. I guess its all about positivity..
Anyway, once again I best be getting up out the chair and do some work.. Fridges to stock, stinky customers to serve (the summer makes their body odour worse)...oh the joys...