Sunday, January 31, 2010

Great minds think alike... AMY

I just realised that my skirt that I have on today is a very similar print to AMYs dress in her new pics today. So since I didnt post a pic of my 1 year bandiversary, today might be as good a day as any.. Excuse my extremely unstylish shoes, I need comfort for work.


My scales are on the move again, thank god, and hopefully it wont be more than 2 weeks till I get to my 40kg loss.. Not getting my hopes up, but I sure do hope this whole plataeu thing is over.

Just a short one today, gotta get to work soon, and I got a killer of a headache.. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

xx Nene

Friday, January 29, 2010

1st Bandiversary pt 2

Well let me start by saying, ♫♪♫Happy Bandiversary To Me♫♪♫.. I woke this morning, with my stomach gurgling, as usual in anticipation of a cup of tea, but it was exactly at this time a year ago, my stomach was gurgling for a very different reason.. I was so scared, of getting the banding procedure done.. My stomach was rumbling because I had to fast, and couldnt feed it to shut it up. I had to wake early to get Montel to school then be on my way to hospital to begin the new chapter in my life. I was booked in to be operated on by 10:30am, but didnt end up being banded untill very late in the afternoon. So my day was spent with my stomach screaming to be filled, but at the same time, screaming with nervousness. So today, a year on, I have been reflecting on the ups and downs of this band of mine. And ok, so sometimes, I get sick of the odd PB episode, or not being able to really dig into some kind of food.. I mean like a burger with the bun, or a savoury bread loaf. Or right now, just about anything solid..I do sometimes wonder if I can go on forever dealing with this band, and the PBing, and the limitations on some foods.. I know that these limitations are actually a good thing for me, and are the reason that I put on alot of the weight in the first place. But the PBing??? I dont want to be an old lady, PBing and getting stuck all the damn time. I want to eat out and not have to undo my bra or take it off in order to be able to eat a bit of food.
Yes, I have taken my bra off in a restaurant (the bathroom of course) just to be able to eat. But this band has changed my life in so many positive ways that I think I might be able to deal with those things.. Oh who really knows.. But I will start my mentioning a few of the aspects of my life that this band has changed for me.

* My relationship with my husband.. In all honesty, my marraige was SHIT. My husband and I simply did not communicate, we just exsisted in the house and pretty much only spoke to eachother about the kids. NOW... I dont want him to take the blame for all the faults in the beginning, because I know that I was so down within myself that I could not have been pleasant to live with. Instead of letting him know what annoyed me, or upset me, I would hold it all in, and feel even lower about myself. Which in turn lead to more self destruction by food..
Our relationship has imporved so much so that when I wake in the morning, I just think to myself "Life is Good" .. I hadnt thought this for so long. I am getting so much more affection, and attention from him, and now even starting to get ompliments from him, which is something I have never ever received from him. It will be our 10th Wedding anniversary on May 20.

*Housework.. I have never kept a dirty or messy house.. I am very worried and particular when it comes to the state of my house when unexpected visitors arrive, however now I am a little more relaxed, but also find it so much easier to get the housework done. (More Energy)

*Going Solo... Today I went to the shopping centre on my own, and didnt feel so self concious. I am excited at the prospect of going to the movies (theatre) by myself, as soon as I get a chance to have enough alone time to go to a movie. I am losing the needyness of needing someone to be with me when I go somewhere.

* Clothing... I am starting to be able to have a choice in what I wear.. I no longer buy things simply because they fit, but only because I like it, and it fits, and is from a normal shop.. I am still a little way out of shopping in all the smaller clothing stores, but I do have more options now, which is fantastic.. it just sucks that I'm not fussed on the fashion at the moment.

*Car..When I was deciding which car to buy a few months ago, I automatically opted for a bigger style car.. I didnt want to look like a big chunky lady driving a little matchbox car.. Now I just look like a normal person driving a normal car. Oh and I do love my car..

*Travel.. I am more confident to get out there now, I want to experience as much as any destination has to offer.. Even if we drive to the countryside, I want to get out of the car and have a look around, where as before, I was happy to drive to the destination, drie around, and drive back home. As for flying, I am so looking forward to sitting my smaller ( not small, but smaller) backside in a seat in a plane. Without having to ask for an extender belt, or having the belt so damn tight that I get alot of trapped wind in my stomach and spend the flight in pain..

*Daring.. I have become a little more daring when it comes to trying different styles of clothing, and make up and even shoes..

One thing that hasnt changed is the fact that i still try to hide behind my makeup. I wear it everyday, and where ever I go. I hate to be seen without it..

I would like to continue, but I am running late for my split shift at the shop..

xx Nene

Thursday, January 28, 2010

MY FIRST BANDIVERSARY FIRST VLOG

Well here you have me.. Please forgive that I am so so new to this VLOG thing, and was really quite nervous.. I have posted it now, a day before my bandiversary incase I back out and dont post it tomorrow..

I also want to wish a Happy Bandiversary to my blog sister Bel.. we met in the waiting room of our surgeon. Also a happy 1st bandiversary to Amy too.. You are such an inspiration, and I adore your openness and confidence.. If only I could have a pinch of what you have, then I'd be set.. You have helped me in so many ways so far in this bumpy journey to slimness..

Once again, thanks to my followers, and fellow bloggers.. and to those of you who have been "blogstalking me" lol kidding.. pop a comment on my page here or there.. you deserve to be acknowleged and I love the feedback..

xx Nene

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

RANDOM RAMBLINGS

This post is most likely to be all over the place today, as I am writting this blog in between customers...
Today is the first day back for the new school year. Ayisha is back to daycare, and Montel is now entering Grade 5. Now, Montel found out who his teacher will be this year, just before the christmas school holidays, and he has been devistated since. Now, this new teacher "Mr Bradbury" has a reputation amongst the students for being a real Grumpy and Nasty mean teacher.. I will admit that at first, I was feeling sorry for Montel, as I do remember back in the days when I would find out my new teacher, and be fearful. And as Montel is such a gentle soul and very emotional, it is even harder to see him with his bottom lip quivering when walking towards the classroom.. I introduced myself to Mr. B, and told him that I wanted to make him aware that Montel is nervous and a little scared of him... Which really, I dont think is a completely bad thing.. it might make him concentrate a bit more on studdies etc.. BUT I dont want Montel waking up and not wanting to go to school because of his teacher. But after speaking with the teacher, I understand him to be a no nonsense guy, but also with the best interests of the students in mind.. I am more than happy to give him a go, and I am sure that in no time, Montel will start liking him.

Band news... shit, where do I start??? my band is still really quite tight, and it is making my food choices very minimal. I can eat maybe 4 water crackers with cheese and feel uncomfortable. Breakfast cereal is even an issue sometimes.. Stuff me, if i would even bother to try meat.. I dont want to risk it. BUT with all this minimal eating.. I have not lost any weight.. AARRGGHHHHH!!! I have an appointment on Monday to see Dr Duncombe on Monday 1st Feb, so i will see what she thinks.. I will however admit that I have had a few sugary softdrinks lately, just to pick me up from not being able to eat properly.. Maybe thats why I've not lost..
I am also pissed off that once again, a goal that I set for myself has not been met.. I wanted to have lost 40kg by my 1 year bandiversary... NOT HAPPENING!!! but I got only my self to blame.. there is no way that I will lose 3kg in the next 2 days. FARK!!!
Lately I look in the mirror, and I am annoyed with myself.. I mean, when I got this band, I was thinking, in 1 years time, I would be looking hot, without all these extra lumps and bumps. I still have a weight issue physically and I do know that eventually will be fixed.. but its the weight issues in my mind that are gonna take some time to fix.. Because right now, I dont even want to be looked at by my hubby.. where as it was only a week or 2 ago that I didnt care how he saw me. I am right back to feeling like I am 146kgs again. I stand in front of the mirror looking at my sagging stomach, meaty hips and chunky baggy inner thighs.. I mean, I know that they were worse 12 months ago.. But I thought that they would magically be gone by now. I guess it all comes down to me relying on this band a little too much, and not working with it properly.
I hate the fact that I work in this shop, and have to rely on eating lunch on the run, and sometimes choosing easy to eat things to avoid PBing between customers. Which really in turn means eating bad non nutricious foods.. I really should be eating more protein than I do..
Perhaps now that school is back in, I will find a little more time to concentrate on myself. But in saying that i really have to stop making excuses for myself and just get down to business. Am I becoming one of those women that I used to see that hadnt lost a great amount of weight with the lapband?? I dont want to be. SNAP OUT OF IT NENE!!!!

SUBJECT CHANGE...complete turn around of topic
SEX!!!
Have any of you noticed how ...ummm.... different sex has become since losing weight?? I mean different for the better of course.. I guess that now because there is a little less "cushion for the pushin" that penetration seems alot deeper.. Ohh lordy, now I'm breaking out of my shell. Ha ha ha.. When I am not have this brain fart breakdown about my weight, I have alot more confidence in the bedroom. Positions are many and varried now.. I no longer cringe about the light being on.. and I am starting to be the instigator. Woohoo... lol

As mentioned a few posts ago, we (me hubby & kids) will be travelling to visit his family in Ghana (West Africa) at the end of the year.. We will spend Christmas and New Year there, and will probably spend about 5-6 weeks there. As well as spending maybe 4-5days in Thailand on the way back home. I am ridiculously excited and have been busy planning.. Hubby told me to settle down, and forget about it for a while. He's the kind of guy who would be just happy to pack his suitcase an hour before the flight and not have anything planned.. But me, well I am quite the opposite. I have been penning dates and destinations of where we will be and for how long, and appointments that need to be made prior to departure, Travel doctors, visa applications etc.. why is it that only woman care about this stuff.. There is no way I am going to spend thousands of dollars on a trip to Africa and be bed ridden with a dose of Malaria, or worse still have one of the kids get sick over there.. I told him that I need to have something to look forward to, something not weight related, and that it might help if I focus on something other than my weight for a change. He just believes alot in voodoo and all that kind of stuff and believes that it's bad luck if I go about letting all his people know that we will be coming.. He may believe in the voodoo from home, but if I visit a clairvoyant, or medium, he tells me that its all a crock of shit.. Hmmm.. MEN!!!

WATER!!! how many of you find it hard to drink as much water as we are supposed to?? I never really have been much of a water drinker.. I envy Amy's efforts at water drinking..I have been looking everywhere for a drinkbottle like the one she just bought.. What a fabulous idea.. As for my water.. i just opened a 750ml bottle of water and took a few mouthfulls, i have just now added a dash of WW rasberry cordial just to be able to get through it. Mission accomplished I just gotta drink another 2- 3 of them and I will have met my daily requirement..

Well enough rambling from me.. have a great day to all you Aussie mummies who have their freedom back for a few hours..
xx Nene

Saturday, January 23, 2010

UPDATE

Not a whole lot to write ladies. Apart from the fact that my band seems as tight as a fish's asshole, and I cant seem to eat anything solid.. Gone are my Indonesian Nasi Goreng feeds.. Today I tried a mouthfull, it got stuck right away, then after a little while, I thought i would try a small bowl of fruit loops, as I was still hungry, but still a wee bit stuck.. then.. ohhh lordy... let me just say that Nasi Goreng and Fruit Loops dont look or taste pretty when they come up.. I guess I really needn't worry about missing out on my rice any more.. After that PB episode, I really am turned off.. I was watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians, and kept having to race to the bathroom for another heave ho..
My parents are coing over for a BBQ in an hour, and i have made a nice salad to go with fresh fish on the BBQ, garlic rissoles, sausages and lamb chops.. If food fails, I just mite have to have a liquid meal.. hmmm..Speaking of that, I better go and get some drinks chilled..
Sorry it's short, but better than nothing.. oh and by the way, I have a new name for my scales this week.. BASTARD ASSHOLE!!! I simply must be retaining fluid.. there is no way that I could have gained 0.9kg this week..
Have a great week end Girls...
xx Nene

P.S SHAGGS!!! CALLING SHAGGS!!! Where the heck are you woman??? I miss you...xx

Monday, January 18, 2010

MY WEEK END, PERSONAL THOUGHTS & APPRECIATIONS

How was your weekend girls?? Mine, was ok.. Didnt do a whole lot.. Opened the shop as usual on saturday morning 6am, only had to work till 10am, then if was the rest of the weekend off for me. But then when you're working a family business, you never really have time off.. there's always stuff going on in the background..Anyway, Ayisha has been sick over the last week, high temps, lethargic, clingy, vomiting (when the temp is high) up at all hours of the night.. Sooo by saturday afternoon after work, I was knackered.. so I had a nanny nap.. And let me just say, I dont plan to be having one of those again, any time soon, I woke up feeling worse.. I guess I'm just not the kind of person to sleep in the day.. Ayisha is doing much better by the way. Oh and I picked up a bargain at the garage/yard sale at the house next to our shop just as I fiished work on saturday.. The young girl there was selling alot of her toys that she has outgrown, so I scored a Baby Born Bathtub, with an attatched shower and toys, in brand new condition.. which only cost me $5 and a Baby Born Baby (doll) Carrier also for $5.. A Disney Bambi DVD for $2 and a brand new Billabong girls school bag for $3.. BARGAIN!!! Ayisha can use the bag for daycare.. Sunday morning we drove out to the Petrie Country Markets..in the past these have been pretty good, nice cheap fruit and vege, and all kinds of nice little stalls to look at.. Well not this time, it was crap.. Not much at all, so we made a beeline for the Indonesian Food Stand, and got us some food, and drove on to North Pine Dam, and ate there at a picnic spot.. It really looked lovely, so I snapped a pic for you all to see..

North Pine Dam

On the food front, I am snacking all day long, because when I sit for a meal, I cant seem to get much down before feeling stuck, so I am constantly grazind g. Not real good but its getting me by.. and I am trying to graze on healthier foods.. I cut the cheeks off a mango and cut then into strips and put them in an airtight container in the freezer.. I just grab a piece or two out when I feel like something and that fills me nicely.. so nice when frozen. It makes a ot of difference when there is stuff prepared to eat, it helps to avoid reaching for a naughty quick fix.

Weight wise.. the losing streak has stopped, and I am sitting on 109.4kgs.. I'm not too down about this, as I hada substantial loss in 1 week. But I do hope that I'll be on that streak again sooner than later..

I am starting to find that I dont mind my reflection so much anymore.. I am taking more chances at looking at my reflection these days, and am even semi smiling at what I see.. When I think back to what I weighed this time last year, and the feelings of disgust that I had about myself, I am so happy that I was given the chance to have this band.. I owe my parents my life.. even though I dont owe them for the operation anymore, as I have worked it off.. BUT, if it wsnt for them to put up the money in the first place, I could quite honestly tell you that I have serious doubts that I would be here and breathing today. I reached some pretty dark places in my mind back then, and so often now, I look at alot of larger ladies and kind of feel for them, because I know that they too would have to be suffering in some way. I mean, of course they would be suffering physically, but emotionally too, and that emotional part is so hard to shed.. OK enough dark stuff.. Just wanted to express the fact that I feel like I have come such a long way in both areas.. Physically and emotionally..

Ohhh and guess what... I was at work the other day and a delivery guy was dropping off some fruit juices, and I recognized him from him having delivered to our old shop a few years ago.. Well holy heck, he was full of compliments, his eyes were fixed on my cleavage and roaming over my body.. I felt absolutely gross.. He was saying that I have lost so much weight and look hot... HOT!! can you believe it??? certainly not a word I would use to discribe me.. Ha ha.. then he gets to asking if I am married, do I have kids, etc?? I stopped him in his tracks when I told him, I had been married for nearly 10 years and that I have 2 children.. He went several different shades of red (and being a red head, you can imagine how red he would have gone).. he ended up saying "what a shame".. All I could think was.. WHAT A FARKING JERK!!!!.. I mean it was flattering in some way, but then at the same time.. I was the same person those few years ago when he used to come into our store.. and he never approached me... So i guess he might be just after the superficial stuff.. Who knows.. ??? But I do know one thing.. It is very strange to have attention from males.. I'm not quite comfortable with it yet... But I will say that I am VERY comfortable with all the extra attention and affection that I am getting from hubby.. But I think it doesnt only come from the fact that I have lost weight, and am looking a bit better, I think it starts with the fact that I am a much happier person to be around.

Okey dokey, I am being summoned by Ayisha to sit with her to watch a movie.. So I best be getting offline..

Hope all is well in your worlds..

xx Nene

P.S By the way, I am excited that I seem to be getting new followers/commenters.. thanks all and welcome..

Thursday, January 14, 2010

MERMAID OR WHALE???

I received this in my email, and thought I would share.. I love it..lol


Recently, in a large city in Australia ,
a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym.
It said, "This summer,
do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

A middle-aged woman,
whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster,
responded publicly to the question
posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern,
Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.)
They have an active sex life,
get pregnant and have adorable baby whales.
They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp.
They play and swim in the seas,
seeing wonderful places like Patagonia ,
the Bering Sea
and the coral reefs of Polynesia .
Whales are wonderful singers
and have even recorded CDs.
They are incredible creatures
and virtually have no predators
other than humans.
They are loved, protected and admired
by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist.
If they did exist,
they would be lining up outside the offices
of Argentinean psychoanalysts
due to identity crisis. Fish or human?
They don't have a sex life
because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex?
Just look at them ... where is IT?
Therefore, they don't have kids either.
Not to mention,
who wants to get close to a girl who smells
like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me:
I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age
when media puts into our heads
the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice

cream with my kids, a

good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends.

With time, we gain weight
because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads
that when there is no more room,
it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.
So we aren't heavy,
we are enormously cultured,
educated and happy.
Beginning today,
when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think,

¨Good grief, look how smart I am!¨

xx Nene






JUST HAD TO SHARE

I took the kids over to my parents place the other day for a swim.. Montel wouldnt pose properly for a pic, and this is what I got.. It's a classic.. Such a big fake grin.. but ohh so cute and comical.. He truely is my special little guy.. I love him to bits.. If only he wouldnt skin his knees every time he rides his freakin scooter.. Not a whole lot else to say today.. and I should be getting ready to leave for work.. Once again, I have had comments from some new readers.. Welcome, and I so enjoy getting feedback. Good luck to those of you who are about to begin or have just begun.. You have made a life saving/changing decision.. All for the better..
xx Nene

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

A WELCOME AND A WINGE (rant?)

First, I want to welcome and thank some of my new followers for commenting.. Lovely to have you aboard this crazy ship..Just to let you know, I am pretty direct and to the point and dont really sugarcoat anything.. How I feel, or what is in my head, is what you will read.. every now and then, I have a bit of a brain fart (Some call it PMS depression) but I soon pick myself up and dust myself off..
I am only a few weeks away from my 1 year bandiversary, and have lost 37kgs.. ok, so not as much as alot of other bandsters who weighed as much as I did in the beginning, But I'll be the first one to take the blame for that in the way that I havent exercised, have pretty much eaten what I want ( not junk all the time, but if I feel like a treat, dammit, I'm gonna have one).. All in all, I know the weight is coming off, and will continue to come off.. I have made many mini goals in this past year, and have not really acheived them. But I dont beat myself up over it.. Just push that goal a little further down the line.. eventually I know I'll acheive it..
Being banded is not a race to get to your goal in the first year, so if things slow down at any time, dont think you're failing, just keep on keeping on..you'll get there.. .. So once again, Welcome :)

So, today I am weighing in at 109.5kg, and I'm feeling happy about that.. ( ask me in a few months, and I'll be like... I was happy about 109.5kgs???!!!!) but for now I am.. it is a little frustrating that 2 weeks before christmas, I was down at 108.5kg, but naughty silly old me decided to indulge a little too much on vodka cruisers and christmas cheer.. Bu moving onwards, and downwards (on the scale).. its almost like a tug of war with my scales, just when I see things going in my direction, they turn around and pull the heck away.. but having been tightened up, all is better.. restriction...
Ohh, speaking of restriction.. Yesterday i was so tense and uptight.. It was my day off for the week, and I had to look after the 2 children of the lady who works for us.. Which, really works for my kids, as one of them is my sons best friend, and his little sister who is only 2 years older than Ayisha.. Lets just say, I was that tense and uptight, I couldnt even get the spoonfull of icecream down at lunch time, well it got down, but came back up over the next half hour.. Oh it isnt nice to bring up cold ice cream.. I knew I was tight, and avoided eating anything set as a meal, but when I was giving the kids their after lunch ice cream treat, I had one mouthfull, and wowsers, it caused me some trouble.. The kids were all pretty well behaved, but I tell you something.. Girls are high maitenance.. My kids know how to pretty much occupy themselves, but throw an extra 2 into the mix and it's chaos, and it seemed their attention span was very very short.. So my day off was SHIT!!! I should have just gone to work. It seems to be the only place I get "me" time. I love kids, I really do BUT this far into the school holidays, I am certainly not in the mood for hosting play dates..
Well, I've had my gripe and it's time for me to get ready for work..
Have a great day everyone..
xx Nene

Monday, January 11, 2010

THE KG'S ARE DROPPING AGAIN... YES!!!!

So this latest fill, just might be the thing I have been needing. My fix for jumping on the scales at any given time of day is getting worse though.. LOL.. I have even moved the scales into another room, but I still wander off to get on them.. The reason... I have gone from 112kg down to 109.5kg since Wednesday (5 days). Looks like my chances of getting down to a 40kg loss (106.6kg) is in sight. Close enough is good enough though. I'm feeling great, apart from the fact that it's still TTOTM.. It is a little frustrating though that it was only 1 month ago, I weighed in at 108.5kg, but thanks to my liquid meals of vodka over the christmas/new year, my weight went all the way back up.. damn it.. But it did get me thinking.. If I didnt have the band, just how much would I have gained in this time. That thought is scary. Which brings me to a story to tell you..
You see, on Christmas eve, we were invited to a couple's house for a bbq and drinks (christmas get together).. I had been meaning to get together with this particular woman for the last couple of years.. (I know it sounds bad).. you see, I met her in the hospital when my friend had her baby, and was talking about having recently traveled to Ghana (my hubby's home country), and this lady came over to me, and said she overheard me say that I went to Ghana, and that she is married to a Ghanaian, and they have just moved up from Sydney. Blah blah, trying to cut it short.. anyway, over the last couple years, I have seen her around at the school, and so forth.. (she has 2 daughters, 1 of which goes to the same school as Montel).. we always say that we will catch up, but never do... Sooo finally, when she issued us with an invite for christmas eve, we happily accepted, even as busy as I was, and had so much to do, but was happy to finally have a get together with them... Soo, whilst eating, I mentioned the fact that I am so glad that I can still have rice (thinking she already knew about my band, as my sister thought she had told her).. she looked at me a little strange and asked why I wouldnt be able to.. I went on, about having the band, and that some people cant eat rice, and she was shocked and suprised to find out that I was banded.. She then said it was interesting and asked who I was banded by.. I told her and then she said she also had one.. WOW WOW WOW... So it's nice to have more than the fact that our husbands are from the same country in common, because with being where our guy are from, comes the whole thing of... African men prefering their women a little on the thicker side.. My husband has been ok with it all.. And this lady said her's also has been very supportive. But when I told my husbands brother about when I was going to get the band, he couldnt understand why I would do such a thing.. LOL.. Soo, with my intentions of going back and visiting Ghana at the end of this year, I know I will be met with alot of confused and concerned faces.. As last time I went, I weighed 130kg. I know that some of the older people will wonder if i am sick.. lol..I'm sure hubby will explain. Cant quite remember where i was going with my story of catching up with Vicki, and finding out that she has also been banded...ohhh.. ok, back on track.. You see, Vicki told me yesterday that she had some fill taken out before Christmas, due to heartburn, and that now she NEEDS restriction because she put on 4kg over christmas/new year.. I'm thinking that because our bodies are used to not having much food, that when we do, we gain weight a little easier than before... what do you think???

And back to my new plan of travelling to Ghana to spend the Christmas and New Year, it has given me a good reason to get to my goal weight by then..It will be such a difference to travel in a plane and not have the arm rests digging in and bruising my hips. However I intend to get ALL fill taken out before travelling, because for some reason, I dont think there will be a doctor over there with knowledge of lapbands... lol.. And heck, I want to be able to eat their yummy foods without issue.. I also think that if I have something apart from weightloss to look forward to, it will take my mind off food in some way. Which in turn might fast track the weight loss.

I have just browsed over this post, and it's all over the show, but I'm just mindlessly tap tap tapping away at the keys with random headthoughts..
Have a good day if you havent already tuned out...
xx Nene

Thursday, January 7, 2010

PICTURE UPDATE 110.7kgs (244lbs)



When I convert the kgs to Lbs, I am so glad that we go in Kgs.. 244lbs sounds so freakin much.. lol.. Anyway, I got Montel to take these pics for me this morning, before going to work. Just to keep you updated.. Singlet is sz 18 (US 14), skirt is sz L (US 14-16) from Crossroads.. The skirt is shirred at the top and can be worn as a strapless dress too.. Cant you see, I need some bronzer on the under side of my granny flappin'arms.. they're so white and makes the flab stand out alot..In the top pic, you can see that I still have a tiny bit of swelling in the belly button region.. Guess I best be trying to crack some gas to get it down some more.. I so wish I had have taken pics of when I was at full bloat the other day.. You would have been amazed.
Ta Ta for Now..
xx Nene

EVERYTHINGS OK

OK, so I was in a bit of a panic yesterday, only to find out when I went to the doc that my problems were all caused by constipation and gas.. Hmm, slightly embarrassing.. I told the doc that I had 3 bowl movements in the last 5 days, and thought that would be sufficient.. Which usually would be for a bandster.. HOWEVER!! even though I went, it doesnt mean that I was totally cleared out, and there ended up being a bit of a "back up".. which in turn held back the gas. Apparently, the fact that I dont drink anywhere near enough fluids, can cause it to kind of dry up in there and although some makes it to the toilet, the rest just kind of hands around to make me feel as bloated and shitty as possible.. No pun intended... lol..I had however noticed that yesterday, before I went to the doc, alot of the swelling had subsided, and I was starting to feel a bit more comfortable, after having "let fluffy off the chain" a few times.. I was been burping for no reason too.. As for the lumps I was feeling in my stomach, well the doctor had a good feel, and explained that now that I have lost some weight, I will discover bones and muscles that stick out and can be felt that I would never have known that I have. She felt that everything was normal. Sooo I got a .5ml fill top up and was on my way. I have booked in to see her in a months time, just to keep on top of things.
When I was at the docs, I was weighed, and weighed in at 112kg... but on a brighter note, this morning, I weighed myself and it read 110.7kg... Finally, hopefully this will be the last time I see the heavy side of 110kg. I know alot of it is fluid though, as it is TTOTM.. but heck, I dont care.. I'm just glad to see it down.
Since being filled yesterday, I have fantastic restriction. I have been a little too nervous to try anything heavy, but I guess I will find out today.. But it's funny.. I didnt even feel like dinner last night.. I had a cup of tea instead.
Thanks for your concern, and I hope that my info ( however gross it may be) will be of a help to you guys. It's a little bit worrying when you come across something that you havent experiences before, and my first worry is that it could be band related and need operating on.. Ohh my worst nightmare.. (I'm not insured).. I do sometimes think that if this band decided to pack it in, and misbehave, (need fixing), I would opt to get it taken out, and get the Gastric Sleeve done. But then, I guess I may feel differently about it if it came to the crunch. .. Who knows, and I dont want to know.. Ha ha..
Anyway, I slept in a bit this morning, and really should be getting ready for work..
Have a great day/night everyone ♥
xx Nene

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

OFF TO THE DOCTOR

For the last 2-3 days I have had some pretty severe upper abdominal bloating (from about the belly button up) and some very stange lumpyness un the upper part of my stomach too. mean, I can feel my port, but these masses are far bigger than a port, and I feel terribly uncomfortable.. So, I am off to see my fill doctor, who is also a GP.. Dr Duncombe. Hopefully she will be able to shed some light on whats going on with me.. I look like I am 5-6 months pregnant.. Soo not cool with me. I couldnt even suck my gut in if I tried, and it kind of feels like theres a rockmellon in there..
Also whilst at the doc's, if all else is ok, I am going to get a fill. Thats of course if the needle doesnt pierce my stomach and let out come toxic gas.. LOL.. Wonder if it is just trapped gas, as sometimes the pain aso changes sides. All I know it is has me very confused and uncomfortable and very lumpy.
Will keep you posted.
xx Nene

Monday, January 4, 2010

UPDATE

So it's 5:30am as I sit here pondering what to blog for you all, and I am enjoying the beautiful sound of rain, and cool breeze that it's bringing.. what makes it even better is that at this time of morning, I am alone with my thoughts.. Yes, Peace and quiet.. just me and the rain.. Dont get me wrong, I love having the kids home on school holidays, but when my house turns into a makeshift daycare for all the neighborhood kids, it kind of does my head in. It seems like my house is a magnet for all these kids. And to be honest, there isnt a whole lot to do here.. No trampolene, no swing set, no swimming pool... only a basketball hoop out back.. Even the drive way isnt good to ride the ripstick on, that gets ridden on the footpath out front..I have ut my foot down, and will not allow any of the kids to play inside anymore, in order to keep a little sanctuary for myself.. I cant believe just how coinfident and some lacking in manners some of these kids are..
I never would have just walked into someones house and opened the fridge to get a drink, or walked in and picked up the phone to call and ask if I can have a water fight.. I would have very shyly asked from the door, or got my friend to ask their parent. It feels like every few minutes, there is a child at the door, now asking for a drink, something to eat, or to use the toilet.. you see, I now lock all the screen doors leading into the house, so I have control of who comes in. Do I sound like the fun police?? Well I dont think I am.. I hope not.. I mean, I bake these kids muffins, cut up fruit platters, buy them freakin water bombs to keep them occupied.. Ahhah!! maybe this is where I'm going wrong.. they might be getting it better here than at home.. Do these parents of these kids ever think that "Montel and Ayisha's" mum needs a break??? Hack and in between time, I am at work.. So to get quality time with my kids, I must take them out.. I dont want to be out!! I want to kick back at home, get some housework done, watch a dvd, cook/bake... Not friggen babysit, and entertain a bunch of under 10 year olds. OK, vent over..

Ok, on the weight front, I woke and weighed this morning, as usual, and am down to 111.7, which is a kg down from 01/01/2010.. I guess it is alot of fluid, because I have been pee' ing like a an old lady at a nursing home comedy show, and my fluid intake hasnt been all that much.. I so want to get my ass into gear this year. I look at some other blogs, and see just how well some others have been doing.. and sometimes feel like a bit of a failure.. I mean, I know that I'm not, but I know I just have to give it some OOMPH!!

Speaking of Oomph.. I told hubby when he came to see me at work on saturday morning, that we should go walking that evening.. I could see that he was impressed with my enthusiasm, and I was feeling good about it, but then, as soon as I got home, I walked through the door, and pulled the screen door shut behind me, the damn screen came a little faster than I had anticipated, and caught the back of my heel, OH THE PAIN, it knocked the breath out of me.. Ayisha was around, so all I would breathlessly utter was " Fa Fa Fa Fa.... OUCH!!!" I so wanted to scream "FARK!!!" Isnt it funny how you hurt your foot, but continue to hobble and pace around on it. I had a look down, and saw that I had scraped a nasty thick chunk of skin off the back of my heel, and it was swelling and throbbing as I looked at it.. Hubby squats to look at it, and starts to try to touch it.. I pulled my leg away from him, so fast, looking at him like he was crazy. It was only an hour later that I realised that I would be able to walk to my full potential, because there was no way I could put my foot into an enclosed shoe.. DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT!!!!.. But it's mending well, and I keep covering it in pawpaw ointment, it should be good to go by the end of the week.. I hope.. In the time being, I make sure I do as much exercise around home without having to wear shoes.
Anyway, Montel has just opened his eyes for the day, so I best get up and prepare him some breakfast.. Have a great day everyone..
xx Nene

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Happy New Year (Not so happy weigh in)

Well I just thought I would post my weight stats to enter the new year. I woke on New Yeas Day, and could have curled up in the corner and sobbed.. I have put on weight.. in a big way.. in 2 weeks, I managed to go from 108.5kg to a mighty 112.7kg... WTF??? thats 4 farkin kgs.. I know I am due for my lady things in the next few days, but heck, I know it couldnt all be fluid retention.. So right now, I feel like I am right back at the beefy 146.6kg... AArrgghhh.. my goal is to get down to 106.6 before my 1 year bandiversary on 29th Jan..than, I will be happy to say I lost 40kg in 12 months.. hmmm, I need to step right into gear.. getting tightened up this week, and even if it means a lil suffering on the food side of things, then so be it.. Time to get off the Vodka, and onto the water..no more soft drinks, no more hot chips (yes hot chips), no more pies (pastry and all)... Obviously I need more restriction..and better eating habbits..
God Help Me!!!

xx Nene