Monday, January 18, 2010

MY WEEK END, PERSONAL THOUGHTS & APPRECIATIONS

How was your weekend girls?? Mine, was ok.. Didnt do a whole lot.. Opened the shop as usual on saturday morning 6am, only had to work till 10am, then if was the rest of the weekend off for me. But then when you're working a family business, you never really have time off.. there's always stuff going on in the background..Anyway, Ayisha has been sick over the last week, high temps, lethargic, clingy, vomiting (when the temp is high) up at all hours of the night.. Sooo by saturday afternoon after work, I was knackered.. so I had a nanny nap.. And let me just say, I dont plan to be having one of those again, any time soon, I woke up feeling worse.. I guess I'm just not the kind of person to sleep in the day.. Ayisha is doing much better by the way. Oh and I picked up a bargain at the garage/yard sale at the house next to our shop just as I fiished work on saturday.. The young girl there was selling alot of her toys that she has outgrown, so I scored a Baby Born Bathtub, with an attatched shower and toys, in brand new condition.. which only cost me $5 and a Baby Born Baby (doll) Carrier also for $5.. A Disney Bambi DVD for $2 and a brand new Billabong girls school bag for $3.. BARGAIN!!! Ayisha can use the bag for daycare.. Sunday morning we drove out to the Petrie Country Markets..in the past these have been pretty good, nice cheap fruit and vege, and all kinds of nice little stalls to look at.. Well not this time, it was crap.. Not much at all, so we made a beeline for the Indonesian Food Stand, and got us some food, and drove on to North Pine Dam, and ate there at a picnic spot.. It really looked lovely, so I snapped a pic for you all to see..

North Pine Dam

On the food front, I am snacking all day long, because when I sit for a meal, I cant seem to get much down before feeling stuck, so I am constantly grazind g. Not real good but its getting me by.. and I am trying to graze on healthier foods.. I cut the cheeks off a mango and cut then into strips and put them in an airtight container in the freezer.. I just grab a piece or two out when I feel like something and that fills me nicely.. so nice when frozen. It makes a ot of difference when there is stuff prepared to eat, it helps to avoid reaching for a naughty quick fix.

Weight wise.. the losing streak has stopped, and I am sitting on 109.4kgs.. I'm not too down about this, as I hada substantial loss in 1 week. But I do hope that I'll be on that streak again sooner than later..

I am starting to find that I dont mind my reflection so much anymore.. I am taking more chances at looking at my reflection these days, and am even semi smiling at what I see.. When I think back to what I weighed this time last year, and the feelings of disgust that I had about myself, I am so happy that I was given the chance to have this band.. I owe my parents my life.. even though I dont owe them for the operation anymore, as I have worked it off.. BUT, if it wsnt for them to put up the money in the first place, I could quite honestly tell you that I have serious doubts that I would be here and breathing today. I reached some pretty dark places in my mind back then, and so often now, I look at alot of larger ladies and kind of feel for them, because I know that they too would have to be suffering in some way. I mean, of course they would be suffering physically, but emotionally too, and that emotional part is so hard to shed.. OK enough dark stuff.. Just wanted to express the fact that I feel like I have come such a long way in both areas.. Physically and emotionally..

Ohhh and guess what... I was at work the other day and a delivery guy was dropping off some fruit juices, and I recognized him from him having delivered to our old shop a few years ago.. Well holy heck, he was full of compliments, his eyes were fixed on my cleavage and roaming over my body.. I felt absolutely gross.. He was saying that I have lost so much weight and look hot... HOT!! can you believe it??? certainly not a word I would use to discribe me.. Ha ha.. then he gets to asking if I am married, do I have kids, etc?? I stopped him in his tracks when I told him, I had been married for nearly 10 years and that I have 2 children.. He went several different shades of red (and being a red head, you can imagine how red he would have gone).. he ended up saying "what a shame".. All I could think was.. WHAT A FARKING JERK!!!!.. I mean it was flattering in some way, but then at the same time.. I was the same person those few years ago when he used to come into our store.. and he never approached me... So i guess he might be just after the superficial stuff.. Who knows.. ??? But I do know one thing.. It is very strange to have attention from males.. I'm not quite comfortable with it yet... But I will say that I am VERY comfortable with all the extra attention and affection that I am getting from hubby.. But I think it doesnt only come from the fact that I have lost weight, and am looking a bit better, I think it starts with the fact that I am a much happier person to be around.

Okey dokey, I am being summoned by Ayisha to sit with her to watch a movie.. So I best be getting offline..

Hope all is well in your worlds..

xx Nene

P.S By the way, I am excited that I seem to be getting new followers/commenters.. thanks all and welcome..

2 comments:

  1. Good tip on the mangoes. I've been doing the same with carrots and sweet chilli philly instead of munching down a whole bag of chips.

    So it's great to see you have a new stalker (lol). I think sometimes the attention we get from males isn't just because of the weight loss we have achieved but also because we really are different people now. At my heaviest I found it hard to make eye contact with people just because I felt like I was being judged. Now I can happily look people in the eye.

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  2. Glad to hear A is better. Yes I don't blame you for feeling annoyed but it is sort of flattering too...a double edged knife isn't it???

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