On the food front, I am snacking all day long, because when I sit for a meal, I cant seem to get much down before feeling stuck, so I am constantly grazind g. Not real good but its getting me by.. and I am trying to graze on healthier foods.. I cut the cheeks off a mango and cut then into strips and put them in an airtight container in the freezer.. I just grab a piece or two out when I feel like something and that fills me nicely.. so nice when frozen. It makes a ot of difference when there is stuff prepared to eat, it helps to avoid reaching for a naughty quick fix.
Weight wise.. the losing streak has stopped, and I am sitting on 109.4kgs.. I'm not too down about this, as I hada substantial loss in 1 week. But I do hope that I'll be on that streak again sooner than later..
I am starting to find that I dont mind my reflection so much anymore.. I am taking more chances at looking at my reflection these days, and am even semi smiling at what I see.. When I think back to what I weighed this time last year, and the feelings of disgust that I had about myself, I am so happy that I was given the chance to have this band.. I owe my parents my life.. even though I dont owe them for the operation anymore, as I have worked it off.. BUT, if it wsnt for them to put up the money in the first place, I could quite honestly tell you that I have serious doubts that I would be here and breathing today. I reached some pretty dark places in my mind back then, and so often now, I look at alot of larger ladies and kind of feel for them, because I know that they too would have to be suffering in some way. I mean, of course they would be suffering physically, but emotionally too, and that emotional part is so hard to shed.. OK enough dark stuff.. Just wanted to express the fact that I feel like I have come such a long way in both areas.. Physically and emotionally..
Ohhh and guess what... I was at work the other day and a delivery guy was dropping off some fruit juices, and I recognized him from him having delivered to our old shop a few years ago.. Well holy heck, he was full of compliments, his eyes were fixed on my cleavage and roaming over my body.. I felt absolutely gross.. He was saying that I have lost so much weight and look hot... HOT!! can you believe it??? certainly not a word I would use to discribe me.. Ha ha.. then he gets to asking if I am married, do I have kids, etc?? I stopped him in his tracks when I told him, I had been married for nearly 10 years and that I have 2 children.. He went several different shades of red (and being a red head, you can imagine how red he would have gone).. he ended up saying "what a shame".. All I could think was.. WHAT A FARKING JERK!!!!.. I mean it was flattering in some way, but then at the same time.. I was the same person those few years ago when he used to come into our store.. and he never approached me... So i guess he might be just after the superficial stuff.. Who knows.. ??? But I do know one thing.. It is very strange to have attention from males.. I'm not quite comfortable with it yet... But I will say that I am VERY comfortable with all the extra attention and affection that I am getting from hubby.. But I think it doesnt only come from the fact that I have lost weight, and am looking a bit better, I think it starts with the fact that I am a much happier person to be around.
Okey dokey, I am being summoned by Ayisha to sit with her to watch a movie.. So I best be getting offline..
Hope all is well in your worlds..
P.S By the way, I am excited that I seem to be getting new followers/commenters.. thanks all and welcome..