Wednesday, January 27, 2010

RANDOM RAMBLINGS

This post is most likely to be all over the place today, as I am writting this blog in between customers...
Today is the first day back for the new school year. Ayisha is back to daycare, and Montel is now entering Grade 5. Now, Montel found out who his teacher will be this year, just before the christmas school holidays, and he has been devistated since. Now, this new teacher "Mr Bradbury" has a reputation amongst the students for being a real Grumpy and Nasty mean teacher.. I will admit that at first, I was feeling sorry for Montel, as I do remember back in the days when I would find out my new teacher, and be fearful. And as Montel is such a gentle soul and very emotional, it is even harder to see him with his bottom lip quivering when walking towards the classroom.. I introduced myself to Mr. B, and told him that I wanted to make him aware that Montel is nervous and a little scared of him... Which really, I dont think is a completely bad thing.. it might make him concentrate a bit more on studdies etc.. BUT I dont want Montel waking up and not wanting to go to school because of his teacher. But after speaking with the teacher, I understand him to be a no nonsense guy, but also with the best interests of the students in mind.. I am more than happy to give him a go, and I am sure that in no time, Montel will start liking him.

Band news... shit, where do I start??? my band is still really quite tight, and it is making my food choices very minimal. I can eat maybe 4 water crackers with cheese and feel uncomfortable. Breakfast cereal is even an issue sometimes.. Stuff me, if i would even bother to try meat.. I dont want to risk it. BUT with all this minimal eating.. I have not lost any weight.. AARRGGHHHHH!!! I have an appointment on Monday to see Dr Duncombe on Monday 1st Feb, so i will see what she thinks.. I will however admit that I have had a few sugary softdrinks lately, just to pick me up from not being able to eat properly.. Maybe thats why I've not lost..
I am also pissed off that once again, a goal that I set for myself has not been met.. I wanted to have lost 40kg by my 1 year bandiversary... NOT HAPPENING!!! but I got only my self to blame.. there is no way that I will lose 3kg in the next 2 days. FARK!!!
Lately I look in the mirror, and I am annoyed with myself.. I mean, when I got this band, I was thinking, in 1 years time, I would be looking hot, without all these extra lumps and bumps. I still have a weight issue physically and I do know that eventually will be fixed.. but its the weight issues in my mind that are gonna take some time to fix.. Because right now, I dont even want to be looked at by my hubby.. where as it was only a week or 2 ago that I didnt care how he saw me. I am right back to feeling like I am 146kgs again. I stand in front of the mirror looking at my sagging stomach, meaty hips and chunky baggy inner thighs.. I mean, I know that they were worse 12 months ago.. But I thought that they would magically be gone by now. I guess it all comes down to me relying on this band a little too much, and not working with it properly.
I hate the fact that I work in this shop, and have to rely on eating lunch on the run, and sometimes choosing easy to eat things to avoid PBing between customers. Which really in turn means eating bad non nutricious foods.. I really should be eating more protein than I do..
Perhaps now that school is back in, I will find a little more time to concentrate on myself. But in saying that i really have to stop making excuses for myself and just get down to business. Am I becoming one of those women that I used to see that hadnt lost a great amount of weight with the lapband?? I dont want to be. SNAP OUT OF IT NENE!!!!

SUBJECT CHANGE...complete turn around of topic
SEX!!!
Have any of you noticed how ...ummm.... different sex has become since losing weight?? I mean different for the better of course.. I guess that now because there is a little less "cushion for the pushin" that penetration seems alot deeper.. Ohh lordy, now I'm breaking out of my shell. Ha ha ha.. When I am not have this brain fart breakdown about my weight, I have alot more confidence in the bedroom. Positions are many and varried now.. I no longer cringe about the light being on.. and I am starting to be the instigator. Woohoo... lol

As mentioned a few posts ago, we (me hubby & kids) will be travelling to visit his family in Ghana (West Africa) at the end of the year.. We will spend Christmas and New Year there, and will probably spend about 5-6 weeks there. As well as spending maybe 4-5days in Thailand on the way back home. I am ridiculously excited and have been busy planning.. Hubby told me to settle down, and forget about it for a while. He's the kind of guy who would be just happy to pack his suitcase an hour before the flight and not have anything planned.. But me, well I am quite the opposite. I have been penning dates and destinations of where we will be and for how long, and appointments that need to be made prior to departure, Travel doctors, visa applications etc.. why is it that only woman care about this stuff.. There is no way I am going to spend thousands of dollars on a trip to Africa and be bed ridden with a dose of Malaria, or worse still have one of the kids get sick over there.. I told him that I need to have something to look forward to, something not weight related, and that it might help if I focus on something other than my weight for a change. He just believes alot in voodoo and all that kind of stuff and believes that it's bad luck if I go about letting all his people know that we will be coming.. He may believe in the voodoo from home, but if I visit a clairvoyant, or medium, he tells me that its all a crock of shit.. Hmmm.. MEN!!!

WATER!!! how many of you find it hard to drink as much water as we are supposed to?? I never really have been much of a water drinker.. I envy Amy's efforts at water drinking..I have been looking everywhere for a drinkbottle like the one she just bought.. What a fabulous idea.. As for my water.. i just opened a 750ml bottle of water and took a few mouthfulls, i have just now added a dash of WW rasberry cordial just to be able to get through it. Mission accomplished I just gotta drink another 2- 3 of them and I will have met my daily requirement..

Well enough rambling from me.. have a great day to all you Aussie mummies who have their freedom back for a few hours..
xx Nene

3 comments:

  1. Oh my little NeNepoo...your blogs are always all over the place but that is how you mind must work and I love it.

    Oh yes...deeper penetration for sure. You are so dirty! But I noticed that awhile ago too. In fact...sometimes I am like eaaaazy big daddy. Tracey may have small feet and hands...but the myth is NOT true! lol...lucky we are.

    Anywhoozle, somedays I just hate water. I mean, it's not very exciting ya know! But I have found that when I have something sweet to drink I want to eat with it...like have something salty. I dont ever just drink pop without munching.

    I still vote you come to visit me!

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  2. Nene,

    You have done such an amazing job over this first year. You are way too hard on yourself.

    I have only managed to lose around 16kg in the first year, but you know what, I could never have done it without the band.

    I know I've mentioned this before, but just think if you joined a slimming club and they told you that you'd be nearly 40 kilos lighter in the next 12 months, would you have believed them???

    Put 40kg in a backpack and carry that around for a while. Then you will really see how far you have actually come!

    I'll give you a call tomorrow to celebrate our first year! It only seems like yesterday that we were chatting in Dr B's office.

    Talk tomorrow!
    Bel

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  3. I agree with Fitness Bandit...you are too hard on yourself. I love your blog and your results inspire me. I too fear being one of those failures and at only 8kg down now and no movement for weeks I am starting to wonder what has changed??? I am sure Montel will be fine. My 10year olds was fearful of a teacher one year...worried all the hols and she turned out to be the best teacher she ever had. Hope that helps

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