Wednesday, February 10, 2010

A BOWEL MOVEMENT AWAY FROM MY 40kg LOSS

This afternoon after work (I am at work right now).. I am meeting up with a friend that I havent seen for over 10 years. Well since just before I got pregnant with Montel (he'll be 10 in march).. She is visiting over here from London. You see she (Sheridan) was raised here by her grandparents and I met her through a mutual friend, and we became better friends than the girl that introduced us. You see, all those years ago, I was supposed to go to England with Sheridan to work in the pub that her mother managed.. However when planning this, I happened to come accross my hubby whom I met online, and instead of flying to London, I flew to Malaysia to meet my now husband. And Sheridan went on her own to England. She has been there ever since, and only in the last year or so, through facebook, we have gotten in contact again. In this time, she has stuck with her dancing ( she always made up routines for us), she now teaches a dance troupe, and she also works as a fitness instructor at a gym.. I can only imagine how good her body is going to be when I see her, and it kind of has me feeling a little shy of seeing her.. I mean, she never saw me at my biggest, so she wont realise how far I have come. I am pretty much around the same size as the last time she saw me.. Which is ok, but i kind of feel like after all this weightloss, I want her to see something... Ohh I dont know it's hard to explain. but I will see, she always has been very self critical, and non judgemental.. So it should be fine. but going back to me leaving for Malaysia and her for England, I sometimes wonder of what my life would have been like if i did go with her?? Would I have ended up this fricken fat??? .. no no, I wont get bitter.. I have 2 beautiful children from my choice and as painfull as they can sometimes be, I wouldnt trade them for anything.

Scale news.. Well, I am so close, so so damn close to my 40kg (88lb) loss, that perhaps if I could squeeze out a good bowel movement, I just might be able to hit it. monday morning, i bounced out of bed, thinking that it would be the day.. and it almost was at 106.8kg.. I was only .2 of a kg (.4lb) away.. then yesterday I woke 106.9 and today 106.9kg (235lb).. dammit.. shit..dammit shit... now the scales are teasing me, and probably laughing their mechanical ass off at me.. I want to have hit it by sunday.. Please scales.. please.. So now for a bit of extra info.. I seem to have my biggest losses around my period.. then plataue for the time in between.. I thought it would work differently, with the bloating and all.. I do not want to wait till my next cycle to got to my 40kg goal.. So untill then, you still get no vlog.. Oh , I got a question for those of you who do Vlog.. how can you run so smoothly through what you have to say?? Do you pre-write it or?? I get so freakin nervous, I have been practicing..

Well I best be finding some shelves to stock, before I finish..
Have a good day/night, depending on which side of the world you are.
xx Nene

3 comments:

  1. LOL on the Vlog...sorry I have no idea. YOu will get to 40kg but it is not giving in quickly is it. About your friend...I get what you mean. I am sure she will just love catching up with you and when you see her you wil probably feel the same. Fingers crossed for a big bowl movement....

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  2. may I suggest a prune, maybe a cup of coffee, lol. Good luck - keep a sports illustrated nearby!

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