Tuesday, February 2, 2010

THE WEIGHT OF MY CHILD

I have come to the realisation.. I have lost my sons weight.. meaning.. my son weighs 38kg, which is exactly what I have lost.. When I look at my boy, then think I have lost a whole small human in weight. I know for a fact that I couldnt pick my son up and carry him on my back, so i sit in wonder.. HOW could I have carried that much extra weight around and not have my legs buckle from under me?!?!?! I am finally at the weight I was when I just had Montel nearly 10 years ago. However, my body is far from the same. My stomach sags, my breasts are... well lets just say, they look tragic.. lol.. hubby doesnt care, he's a typical African.. breasts are for feeding babies, he prefers for me to have a "Booty" .. I still have that... and some serious saddle bags and hips. But I look back to then, and I wasnt happy with my body then.. I look back to times when I was a bit smaller than that too, and still wasnt happy.. I have always been self concious about my body. I have alsways had friends who are smaller in size than me. I thought when I was 146kg that I would feel super fantastic when I got down near 100kg.. and ok, I do feel better, much better than I did.. But I still I focus on all my imperfections.
Oh has anybody noticed that they have more veins in their legs since losing weight.. I have come out with some very visible purple veins on both legs. I'm pretty sure they werent always there.
Another thing that I have noticed with weightloss.. now this might sound strange.. the underside of my saggy titties are always itchy.. I think there might be a few stretchmarks forming.. stretching from the sag.. LOL Just when I try to get things with my body on track, nature just decides to throw a few extra things in the mix, just to piss me off..

I cancelled my fill apointment yesterday because in the last week the scales have been steadily moving down, and thought it would be a waste of a drive over ( only 20 mins) just to check in.. And ironicly today I feel like I could handle a bit more restriction, when in the last week, my band has been tighter than a fishes "A" hole. Oh the glory on the menstual cycle. NOT!!!

Oh, I bought a new dress.. It's a size 18 from Tar Jay (Target), and is a bit of a "going out" kind of dress.. it can be worn halter neck style of strapless. It is knee length and in a lined satiny fabric. Colours are black and white.. When I bought it last week, just a day before my bandiversary, it didnt do up.. (it has a side zipper) .. but this morning, I tried it again, and it did up.. Oh yes, it was a struggle, with me holding it together, and getting Montel to zip it up, but by golly, it did up.. I got him to take pics, and I look like shit in the pics, but I will post them tomorrow. It is a fitted design at the top and drops out just above the hip.. hard to explain, but very feminine and I love it.. Now I just gotta find a place to wear it to. Perhaps I will persuade hubby to take me out for valentines day, it will fit better by then I hope..

Well I best be getting back to work. Have yourselves a lovely day/night..
xx Nene

2 comments:

  1. Hi Nene,
    yep......I have noticed the vein thing too!!! I have always had a mass of spider veins on the tops of my legs...but it was only the other night I was doing my toenails and noticed humungous big dark veins running up both legs...like a farking roadmap!!
    When you think of your weight loss in terms of a "thing" like your kids...or in my case my dog, Harry, it is quite confronting!! Great...but still, I also wonder how I was managing to drag it all around piled on my bones! I can't wait to see your pictures in the new dress because I bet you look like a farking goddess!!! Ya sexy hornbag you:)

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  2. Cant wait for the pics!! Having the same "really tight no really lose no really tight should I have a fill?" situation here also. Just cant decide??

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