Today I woke up hating the world.. yes, it's that time of the month for me.. Well it should be, but it's not, and I am worried.. I was stupid through the month and missed a pill twice.. 2 in 2 weeks.. Oh shit... I am hoping that its just my hormones playing about, and not a damn easter bun in the oven.. Now I know by saying this, It may sound a little insensitive to those who cannot fall pregnant, or have very private reasons.. And believe me, I have been in that boat.. I tried for a few years to have Ayisha and had to get fertility treatment. Hence the reasoon for the bigger age gap between my 2 kids.. But now is my turn to be selfish, and have MY TIME.. because i sure as hell dont get enough of that..
A perfect example... 2 days ago, I had the urge for a #2 (bowel movement) whilst at work, now when I work, I am on my own, and cannot race out back in between customers to "evacuate the system" ... sooo I had to hold on for a couple of hours.. deep breathing, and a rock hard stomach, is so uncomfortable... then I get home with intention to run to the loo, but I get a phone call... it's my sister, informing me that Baby Ashton is back in hospital, and could i look after her daughter for the night?? ... noo problemo.. Now, just let me go to the crapper.. please... but nooo, then I realised that I had to feed my kids, after slapping a frozen meal in the microwave for Montel, and Ayisha's weird request for porridge is filled ( yes my kids do usually have better food than this.. lol)... anyway, by this time my stomach is making all kinds of noises, screaming at me, to fix the problem. Then, when making my way to the toilet, my sis arrives with her daughter... fills me in on Ashton and leaves.. time to make Breanna's bed, and get her settled... then and only then, can I make my way to the privacy on my ensuite toilet... So there you have it, even the simple task of taking a shit goes on hold because I have kids and a husband and a job to deal with..
MY TIME also because I have stretched my body enough already having had the 2 kids, and being overweight all my life.. I want it to shrink, not grow. The time is not right for me, so i am really hoping that "aunt flow" comes to visit real soon.
I mean this could explain my world hating mood right now, and depressive moods lately.. but usually I am PMSíng a week before they're due.. Who know's , will no doubt keep you all posted...
WHY dont men have to put up with this shit?? they get all the joy in things.. Get it up, stick it in, dump their load, go to sleep, go to work, be fed, shower, shit, shave and all the things that men can do whenever the fricken hell they want.. there's no waiting for several hours to take a shit in my husbands world.. grrrrrrrrrr
Feeling like this makes me eat, and right now, I just got up and got myself a caramello chocolate koala out of the shop fridge and and mindlessly munching it down, really quite without care for what it will make the bastard scales tell me in the morning.. I'll deal with it then..
I think right now it might be best for me to stop with this post before you all think I am some mental case, well some of you may already think that way.. just consider this my monthly melt down..I'm off to drool over the pie oven..