Aunt Flow has been and gone, the miserable feelings are being kicked out the door behind her, and I'm dusting myself off.. Time to get with the program.. Thanks to all of you who commented, and I have taken it all aboard.. Also a very special thanks to "Fat Bastard", thank you for giving me your insight and a male point of view..It is greatly appreciated.. I know sometimes you must read some womens blogs, and think..."Oh the drama".. but I also hope that you read and take in just how life is from a womans side of things.. It may in a way be helpful to you too..
On a positive, the scales are in my corner at the moment.. 106.2kg this morning.. I'm wondering.. HOW?!?! but I'll take it. I am more focused on getting back on track now.. I woke this morning, and weighed myself, happily I got off the scales, and walked to my wardrobe and started trying on some of the things that have been a little snug.. And some of them fit.. thats enough to put a lil bounce in my step today at least..
I was just reading Work In Progress and in her latest post, she mentioned the changes in her breasts. Over the week end whilst having my "Down Time", I realised just how much my breasts have shrunk. Now, my breasts have always been in proportion with my body.. when I was big and fat, so were my titties.. and I guess its only normal that now I am deflating, so are they.. I always longed for a time when my breasts stuck out further than my stomach.. but even with a 40kg loss, this hasnt happened. My nipples look like eyeballs that are looking down to my feet. Sad sad sad.. Even when I try to boost them up into my padded bra, they litterally do fold in at the top, there is no longer that "full breasted look". I know that it's time for me to buy a new bra or 3 or 4, but I am wanting something to make me look like i am packing something in there.. So many bra are minimising, or squash you flat and far apart.. I want some cleavage, its that to much to ask. In the past months, when dreassing, I have been trying to hide, blend or even accessorise what I see as flaws in my body.. i.e my saggy stomach.. but now, I spend more time trying to make it look like I have breasts.
I mean, I know breasts arent the be all and end all of everything, but I feel in some way, that I need some to help me feel a little on the sexy side...and I need aaallllll the help I can get with that.. LOL
Maybe untill I get down and have lost all the weight that I need in order for it to be worth getting implants, I will just have to buy me some rubber chicken fillet looking things and do as I did in primary school... Stuff my bra.
Yay, I am up to 40 followers.. Very excited bout that..
Tomorrow, being Thursday is what Ayisha and I call "The girls day off", on the day we usually hit the shops, and she gets her Baby Chino, whilst I get my Chilla. She hangs for this day all week, and being that it's school holidays, Ayisha told me that it's not the Girls Day off this week, because her brother (Montel) is home, so instead of going to the cafe, She has requested that we go to Sizzler instead, as she knows how much Montel loves it. She is very thoughtfull in that way. So tomorrow we go to Sizzler. Fun! I was also thinking, if the weather is nice, I might take the kids to the beach to build sandcastles. Take some nice pics, then get in and get dirty.. oh how I hate the feel of sand all over my hands, arms, legs, and other orifices.. But I love a good sandcastle with the moat around it, and tunnels throughout.. Or burying my feet deep in the sand then trying to get out. Takes me back in time.
Sally has also mentioned "slider foods".. what are my slider foods?? Hmm, I have become addicted to Cheezles. I think I could eat a whole box if I wanted, well hold up, I do want.. but I know not to. Now I have never been into cheezles or chips of that sort, but only since being banded do I prefer those over the regular potato chips. Another is chocolate. I have also never been much into choccie's or sweets like lollies etc.. but all these seems to work their way into my naughty treats list. Another is ice cream.. Mango and Macadamia Weis Bar.. hmmm. or mango sorbet.. YUM I need to put a stop to the sliders though. Which is why I have been crocheting.. I find that when I am doing a crochet project, I dont snack, and my weight seems to move down.. Maybe that has been a contributor to my loss lately.. I have a lap blanket in the making at the moment..
Anyway. I best get back to work. I keep bopping up and down between customers to get this written, and have lost my train of thought.. Shall be back when I have more to say