Friday, July 2, 2010

UPDATE

Hey all, let me get you up to speed on the goings on with me.. I have now been diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) I am also now on anti-depressants, and have been for a few weeks now. I didnt really want to get onto them, but I came to a point where there was no choice. I have been reffered to a pshycologist for treatment, however the one I chose and had my appointment with was absolutely horrible.. I big smelly guy with a filthy couch and pokey, smelly office, who pretty much said that I should quit my job, and that our business has been known for Robbery and hold ups, and that he cant see me making any kind of recovery unless I leave my job.. FUCKING IDIOT!!!! He also said he wanted to hypnotise me, to see if I could go further into detail of the robbery.. He seemed more interested in the fact that it was a female that robbed me, and kept asking if she was a druggo.. anyway enough said.. I am now in search of a half decent psychologist..if there are any..My GP is even considering reporting him, as he seemed very unprofessional, and unhelpful.

Even though I am on this medication, I still am not back to what I was.. I long to feel like I am myself again.. sometimes, I feel like I am on the outside looking in on myself and the goings on around me. I feel numb, I cant seem to laugh, cant cry and find it hard to smile, although I try for the sake of my kids.

On a lighter note.. I have adopted a new puppy.. I was at work, when an old guy came in the shop, and handed her over to me, he said "I just cant keep her, she needs kids to play with"... So guess what??? My kids seemed the perfect candidates.. they have been asking for a dog for the longest time.. I cant help but wonder if she was sent to me somehow.. to help make me feel a bit better emotionally.. Because she has lifted my spirits somewhat..She is about 4 months old, all white, with a couple of light brown spots on her floppy ears.. Apparently, she is a Staffy x Mastiff.... She is ultra sweet, very smart, a bit destructive, and doesnt know when playtime is over, but I think she might be just what we need..



I want to thank those of you that have commented and also privately emailed me.. your concern and care means alot..
xx Nene
P.S .. oh and weight wise... I have gained a few kgs.. I am now 110kg.. FARK!!! but right now, my emotional state of mind is of more importance to me..


5 comments:

  1. I am sorry that you are going through a rough time. I have been and am actually currently in a bit of depression myself. For different reasons, but it still feels the same. It will get better, that what we have to tell ourselves.

    The puppy is ADORABLE!!! I think she was sent to you!! Keep your chin up!!

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  2. Love, love, love the puppy!!! Absolutely gorgeous!

    I'm so glad to see you back on blogger and to hear how you are going.

    Big *hugs*

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  3. I am so glad you are back. I was beginning to worry about you. I will tell you that anti-depressants saved my life so I hope they work for you. The bad side was weight gain but don't worry about that. You have done an incredible job with losing weight.

    I am so sorry you have this problem but it will get better. You do need a new Psychologist-that one really needs to be reported (sorry). There is some wonderful help out there and you will find one that clicks with you. I would be so against you quitting your job because I think it gives you something to do. And the puppy-lots of work but therapeutic too. Enjoy-and don't forget to blog. Anything, anytime. We are here to listen.

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  4. Hi Nene, I'm so glad you're accepting the help and trying the different options. These things unfortunately don't tend to go away on there own.

    I felt similar to you when i had depression. I was just going through the motions most of the time and not enjoying my kids at all. The medication worked wonders for me. If you need to, do ask to try another type if you don't feel the one you're on is quite doing the job, or else look at raising the dose. It's not one size fits all.

    Your psychologist sounds repulsive by the way! Definately swap ASAP. My sister suffered PTSD after a terrible car accident where her youngest was run over in front of her and her therapist was a totally useless article too! She spent the whole time trying to manipulate and guilt my sister into taking back her complete wastrel of an ex! I said to her if she likes him so much tell her to have him! :0)(she'd soon change her tune). Don't put up with it there are some good ones out there.

    I'm sending you lots of happy vibes and {{hugs}} and I'm glad the puppy's doing you some good, he's totally gorgeous.

    I'm waiting with bated breath by the way to hear the next installment of the dirty, smelly, man...if there is one. (lol)xx

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  5. You have been in my thoughts so much...great to hear from you. I am glad you are taking some positive steps towards feeling better....it would have been very traumatic what you went through. I think a puppy is just what you need. We rescued a dog last year and he has changed our lives...gave nme company in my darkest hours and also pointed out a new career path for me. I love him so much!!!! Keep plossing through each day....we are here for you

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