Monday, September 13, 2010

SHOP SHOP SHOPPING

Hey there luveeees, I been shoppin.. and shopping.. retail therapy. Gotta love it. Shopping for Ayisha's 5th birthday (which is this wednesday) shopping for our early christmas that we will celebrate here with family before our travel, and shopping for gifts for people that we will see whilst on our travels.. And of course whilst looking for all these things at the shops, I happen to find myself in dress shops, and puchasing some lovely new spring clothes.. Check out one of my latest in the pic below. It was taken yesterday at a friends get together. Not liking the fact that my bra straps we hanging out though.. I really should have paid more attention to detail.. lol

I will have to get some more pics and put them up for your viewing..

I went and had .5ml put back in my band, and I have decent restriction for a change.. however, I would like perhaps another .2 of a ml.. I am really wanting to get down to 100kg before I go away.. This whole waitloss thing is taking alot longer than I anticipated, but I also never expected that my emotional state would change so rapidly either. I am pretty much on top of the depression, but just lately (last few days) I still have had a bit of anxiety (throat constricting, gasping for a deeper breath, tight chest etc..) I will have to have a word with my GP again.. I swear he must get sick of me, I know I get sick of seeing his waiting room..
Things between hubby and I are going fantasticly. I have learnt that life is alot easier if I actually communicate my thoughts and feelings..
I am going to make it my goal for this week to lose 1 kg (at least).. this means.. NO PIES!!! NO CHOCOLATE!!! I never even liked chocolate before being banded.. pies are harder to eat since my fill, but that doesnt stop me from digging away at the guts of it.. bad bad bad.. lol
Well thats all from me now my dears
xx Nene

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

I'm still here :)

Hmmm, where to start.. Let me start by thanking those of you who have been supportive of me, and even sending me private messages to check up on me.. You are all too beautiful..
Now, I am starting to think that my lack of blogging and not reading others blogs has contributed to my weight gain, oh also as well as the fact that I have been shovelling all kinds of shit into my mouth at all times of day.. well not all times, how about contantly..
I have completely lost my battle with that bastard pie oven, and to be 100% honest, I have eaten a pie every fricken day for the last few months.. Heck even on my day off, I come into work, just to get one.. Oh when will I find a healthy addiction??? But let me tell you something a little strange.. Almost everything I eat gets stuck.. I can PB 3 times a day.. but once I have done the PB, I can go back and finish a whole foot long sub from subway (salad on it only).. When it comes to food, I am a fricken lost cause.. I made a deal with myself this morning before coming to work that I would not touch the pie oven.. Well guess what, i havent touched the pie oven, but have alreay had a small bag of lollies and a small chocolate heart and a wagon wheel (choc marshmallow cookie).. So I am confused, because i know I need to be having much smaller portions, but everything is getting stuck... I will have to go and see my band nurse...
So thats pretty much all I have to say about my band right now, Oooh, and the fact that I am up to 112kgs... FARK!!!!

Ok, now for the emotional crap... Yes, I am still on the anti depressants..and still have been going to the clinical psychologist.. She is wonderful, and has helped me alot.. Now I believe that I need to tune into helping myself, and realise that a thought it just a thought, and not let it get a hold of me.. I do still have a down day here and there, and perhaps when i get to losing weight again, I will climb higher up the ladder in feeling like my self again.. but as at now, I am able to see the funny side of things again, and enjoy my family and not be so angry all the time..

Now for some new news.. . I'M GOIN ON A TRIP....A BIG TRIP!!!!!! Yes yes yes, myself, hubby and the kids are going to Ghana, West Africa for christmas... tickets are booked, and we leave Brisbane on 27th Nov, and return on 10th Jan.. I am so excited that I could just pee.. Now in my hubby's area, they dont really celebrate Christmas, so we will have an early one here with my family, and the kids will get their pressies then, however "Santa" wont be as generous this year, as this trip is costing a damn fortune.. But most importantly.. my hubby, and of couse the kids and I, will get to see his father one more time.. not to sound nedative, but you see my father-in-law is in his mid 90s , so the chances of us making it back to Ghana again in the next few years are slim. And the fact that my hubby lost his 47 year old brother (lung cancer) and 29 year old sister (heart attack) last year, is proof that time is of the essence, and quality time is needed, and soon.. His father was hit by a car 2 months ago, and was lucky enough to have survived with a dislocated leg, and stitches to his head.. So all I can think, is hold out for us Pops..
Now for those of you that arent on my facebook, you wont have seen this picture below. It was taken at Suncorp Stadium when we went to watch a Soccer/Football Game. Montels junior team did the march past before the game so we got to go for free.. Fun fun fun, but I was too busy watching the drunken observers for the losing team.. they were a little more entertaining..

Ayisha was more interested in her DSi, and I dont know whose ass that is behind me.. lol

Well my dears, I will end here and get to sweeping the grass that the workers have walked through the shop.. luv u all..

xx Nene